How many times do you think that name suits you? Mmmm, if I really think about it I'd say about 85% of the time....now I'm being honest with maybe a wink of an eye.
When you hit this point you definitely know it. For example you bump into someone who obviously knows you because of one or more of your kids, "Oh, where's your kids?" you look at them and say "Not with me!". You're sitting down watching one of your kids through a window as they practice dance, gymnastics, whatever, and someone says "How are you?"answer: "mmm, I'm here".
After your long day and all are in bed you think back through the day as you sit back with absolutely no noise and re-play the "adult" conversation you had............................Aaaaahhhh! WAIT!!! Did I really say that? No wonder they looked at me with that puzzled look? Great, now they probably think I'm a bad parent because my answers weren 't cheerful and happy.
I thought about this as I was trying to fall back asleep after I made coffee and walked my husband out the door in the very early morning..............
One; these people are parents and can totally relate to my answers. Two; they aren't parents and yes might think "wow, she's mean" but it puts that little fear in them to think a little further about............hmmmmm, am I ready for kids?
Truth is, I know I'm not the only Mom who feels the aggravation, frustration, irritability, confusion our children put out for us.
Nothing you say sometimes is the right thing. Because we are the parents we can easily see and feel the moody vibe our child is projecting. "Mom, is this okay to wear to school?" "sure, it's fine". Then there's the tricky question "what do you think I should wear?" how to answer that one without setting them off...hmmm, you know whatever you say they are just going to either stomp off, pout, or roll their eyes so you take the easy way out...."well, what are you deciding on or what were you thinking of wearing?". Hopefully you make it through that one without raising your blood pressure.
The disgruntled parent- A stage all parents must enter at some point with their child/children. Hopefully you have someone to share situations with, to laugh with, to completely agree with.
I am glad I do. I love when I'm talking to my Mom Friends and we can practically finish each others sentences!
We love our children, there isn't a day that goes by that I am not thankful for the children that I have. I obviously would do anything and everything I possibly can for them.
Through the trying times there are the happy times, through the mad times there are the giggly times, and through the quiet times there is the peace times that gives us parents the time to reflect and look back at the day with a smile on our face knowing our babies are ultimately happy, healthy children.
Just a Mom............who yes is a Disgruntled Parent at times!!!
Monday, December 14, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Whoo....
Now that was a looonnngg break!!!
Between school, the last few soccer games, the crazy amount of dance classes my child takes, Halloween, Thanksgiving, school conferences..........ugh.....................breathe, in and out, just breathe....
So somewhere in the midst of all that not to mention normal daily things I kind of lost myself once more (not that I actually have found myself just yet). It was easy to lose sight of what I was finding to be my way of releasing how I was feeling, what I was thinking. Who was going to miss it? Was there anyone really looking for it?
I went along with my crazy busy schedule taking care of everything and anything that was asked. Sometimes I wonder if I have a flashing sign across my forehead that says "available, ask me". Really, I think there's one there.... when I take my kids to school my little one likes to stay and watch the morning routine that occurs for the first 10 minutes before all the students go to class. We make our way to the same bench that we stand at to watch and even our little Squiggly enjoys it now too. There she stands holding onto the bench as she kicks her feet up and down and moves her head side to side to the music being played. I'm watching her as I watch J run back and forth doing his own little routine. Sometimes Squiggly gets so excited she starts laughing and tries to walk away. As soon as it's time for the kids to go back to class a teacher of one of my kids comes up to me and tells me he's planning a pizza party for some of his kids in class who have passed tests (which one was mine). I tell him, oh, that's nice. He then says "would you mind picking up the pizzas for us?". Hmmmm, is it there? Cause I myself can't see it, but it must be, here I stand holding a squiggly baby, watching out for J who is running around, I'm in my daily "Mom sweats", no make up, hair brushed out (but that's about it, no time for any type of style).....sure, no problem, seeing as I have enough time to take care of myself before I step out in public and my child is calm as can be standing right next to me waiting patiently to leave while I hold this smiley baby who is just letting me hold her without any issues.....................
And this is where I am suppose to say "what? Are you crazy? Do I look like I have time to be a pizza delivery person? And how would you like me to bring those to you? On my head cause that's all I have left free!!!" Instead, I just say I am available on Tuesday or Thursday.
Of course he wants to do it the last week of school before Christmas break, the two free days I have to get my last few things done, the two free days that I will be baking the items my kids are to give their teachers on the last day, the two free days I have to make sure my daughter has her things for her Nutcracker performance which happens to begin on the last day of school.
Nope, instead I am going to make a detour in my plans so that I can deliver these pizzas.
I'll just plan it in my daily schedule.
I get so busy taking care of everybody else I forget about myself...now back in the day there would've been no way I would've stepped out the way I do now. Yes I see myself in the mirror as I'm washing up or cleaning but I don't think I really "looked" at myself in the mirror. I know that if I did I'd probably just cry. It's sad when you truly look and what you see is not at all what you know to be "you". Gone..............lost, deep inside is the person that I feel, that is me, not what I see in the mirror. I have to find a way to get myself back. It's hard especially when there is so much going on in our lives that I feel take priority.
Maybe this is the beginning, getting back to what I started...........maybe that blinking "available" sign isn't really for others to see but for me to see that I need to be available for me and when I figure that out then maybe it won't be so bright for others to see...........hmmmmm.
Just a Mom...........attempting to start again.
Between school, the last few soccer games, the crazy amount of dance classes my child takes, Halloween, Thanksgiving, school conferences..........ugh.....................breathe, in and out, just breathe....
So somewhere in the midst of all that not to mention normal daily things I kind of lost myself once more (not that I actually have found myself just yet). It was easy to lose sight of what I was finding to be my way of releasing how I was feeling, what I was thinking. Who was going to miss it? Was there anyone really looking for it?
I went along with my crazy busy schedule taking care of everything and anything that was asked. Sometimes I wonder if I have a flashing sign across my forehead that says "available, ask me". Really, I think there's one there.... when I take my kids to school my little one likes to stay and watch the morning routine that occurs for the first 10 minutes before all the students go to class. We make our way to the same bench that we stand at to watch and even our little Squiggly enjoys it now too. There she stands holding onto the bench as she kicks her feet up and down and moves her head side to side to the music being played. I'm watching her as I watch J run back and forth doing his own little routine. Sometimes Squiggly gets so excited she starts laughing and tries to walk away. As soon as it's time for the kids to go back to class a teacher of one of my kids comes up to me and tells me he's planning a pizza party for some of his kids in class who have passed tests (which one was mine). I tell him, oh, that's nice. He then says "would you mind picking up the pizzas for us?". Hmmmm, is it there? Cause I myself can't see it, but it must be, here I stand holding a squiggly baby, watching out for J who is running around, I'm in my daily "Mom sweats", no make up, hair brushed out (but that's about it, no time for any type of style).....sure, no problem, seeing as I have enough time to take care of myself before I step out in public and my child is calm as can be standing right next to me waiting patiently to leave while I hold this smiley baby who is just letting me hold her without any issues.....................
And this is where I am suppose to say "what? Are you crazy? Do I look like I have time to be a pizza delivery person? And how would you like me to bring those to you? On my head cause that's all I have left free!!!" Instead, I just say I am available on Tuesday or Thursday.
Of course he wants to do it the last week of school before Christmas break, the two free days I have to get my last few things done, the two free days that I will be baking the items my kids are to give their teachers on the last day, the two free days I have to make sure my daughter has her things for her Nutcracker performance which happens to begin on the last day of school.
Nope, instead I am going to make a detour in my plans so that I can deliver these pizzas.
I'll just plan it in my daily schedule.
I get so busy taking care of everybody else I forget about myself...now back in the day there would've been no way I would've stepped out the way I do now. Yes I see myself in the mirror as I'm washing up or cleaning but I don't think I really "looked" at myself in the mirror. I know that if I did I'd probably just cry. It's sad when you truly look and what you see is not at all what you know to be "you". Gone..............lost, deep inside is the person that I feel, that is me, not what I see in the mirror. I have to find a way to get myself back. It's hard especially when there is so much going on in our lives that I feel take priority.
Maybe this is the beginning, getting back to what I started...........maybe that blinking "available" sign isn't really for others to see but for me to see that I need to be available for me and when I figure that out then maybe it won't be so bright for others to see...........hmmmmm.
Just a Mom...........attempting to start again.
Monday, October 26, 2009
And the beat goes on.......
Remember when you were little days went by slow, weeks lasted longer, and months, well, they seemed to never end................
We were so innocent then, we would hear the same advice from our parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, basically any adult........
Enjoy the time that seems to last so long now because as you age the time seems to speed up and the days are like a blink of an eye, the weeks are a blur, and the months disappear like daylight does at the end of a day.
What were they talking about? I use to wonder, we're all living in the same time.....how can they possibly think time zooms by so fast???
Well, fast forward to now...........me, the parent of 4 children, the wife, the aunt, still the daughter, the sister, the grand daughter. I think back to the days of playing, skating outside on the sidewalk, watching Fraggle Rock............there was so much to do, so much time.
Life moves along, we continue to grow, we begin to make mistakes, we learn, we still have fun, laugh, smile...........
Why is it that we learn our most important lessons as we get older when those lessons could've really helped us out a few years before?
Yes, we did learn from our mistakes but now what? We continue to grow, live, become wiser through our life experiences.......but it's done......we can't go back now and use what we've learned to fix our past mistakes, we can't relive that age and make a better choice instead of the one we chose at the time.
Oh, okay, I get it...........it's called life!!
Do I regret any of my past?? Mmmmm, nah, it made me who I am!
Maybe we didn't have the knowledge of those important lessons that we learned later in life for a reason. We wouldn't have been that careless teen or that early 20's person with nothing to worry about but ourselves and having fun.
Yes, as we age along comes the wisdom we slowly pick up along the way.
Today is my Brother's Birthday. He actually told me he feels healthier now than he did years ago. Did he figure out something I have yet to stumble upon? Maybe.
I'm still in that "days fly by" mode. I know, I can hear my Mom now "you just need to make time for yourself, it's your fault, you don't take time for yourself".
What can I say to that? Well, if I had another hour or two to put it all out there I would.
To my Big Brother, today you start a new year in your life.........may it be one that makes each new day a little brighter for you. I hope and pray this next year brings you more love, strength, and happiness that you can feel deep within your sole.
You have always been a bright light in my life, with your weird sense of humor (and you know what I'm talking about...) to your protectiveness of your family. As I think of all that we've gone through since we were little till now one thing stands out for sure..........us.
Happy, Happy Birthday Brother!!!!
Just a Mom understanding the feeling of how fast time goes by but can still remember what it felt like as a child when time creeped by..........
We were so innocent then, we would hear the same advice from our parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, basically any adult........
Enjoy the time that seems to last so long now because as you age the time seems to speed up and the days are like a blink of an eye, the weeks are a blur, and the months disappear like daylight does at the end of a day.
What were they talking about? I use to wonder, we're all living in the same time.....how can they possibly think time zooms by so fast???
Well, fast forward to now...........me, the parent of 4 children, the wife, the aunt, still the daughter, the sister, the grand daughter. I think back to the days of playing, skating outside on the sidewalk, watching Fraggle Rock............there was so much to do, so much time.
Life moves along, we continue to grow, we begin to make mistakes, we learn, we still have fun, laugh, smile...........
Why is it that we learn our most important lessons as we get older when those lessons could've really helped us out a few years before?
Yes, we did learn from our mistakes but now what? We continue to grow, live, become wiser through our life experiences.......but it's done......we can't go back now and use what we've learned to fix our past mistakes, we can't relive that age and make a better choice instead of the one we chose at the time.
Oh, okay, I get it...........it's called life!!
Do I regret any of my past?? Mmmmm, nah, it made me who I am!
Maybe we didn't have the knowledge of those important lessons that we learned later in life for a reason. We wouldn't have been that careless teen or that early 20's person with nothing to worry about but ourselves and having fun.
Yes, as we age along comes the wisdom we slowly pick up along the way.
Today is my Brother's Birthday. He actually told me he feels healthier now than he did years ago. Did he figure out something I have yet to stumble upon? Maybe.
I'm still in that "days fly by" mode. I know, I can hear my Mom now "you just need to make time for yourself, it's your fault, you don't take time for yourself".
What can I say to that? Well, if I had another hour or two to put it all out there I would.
To my Big Brother, today you start a new year in your life.........may it be one that makes each new day a little brighter for you. I hope and pray this next year brings you more love, strength, and happiness that you can feel deep within your sole.
You have always been a bright light in my life, with your weird sense of humor (and you know what I'm talking about...) to your protectiveness of your family. As I think of all that we've gone through since we were little till now one thing stands out for sure..........us.
Happy, Happy Birthday Brother!!!!
Just a Mom understanding the feeling of how fast time goes by but can still remember what it felt like as a child when time creeped by..........
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Middle of the week day.......
Yes it's Wednesday, yes I am slowly falling behind on getting my thoughts put out here for all of you to read about and maybe agree with...........
So, I must continue to say life is completely crazy, just like a roller coaster it goes up slowly and drops you down fast!!!
I try really hard to be involved in every aspect of my children's lives as well as my family members. We always think our family is made of stone, nothing can harm them, it won't happen to us, we'll be just fine.........................until, little by little that wall of strength starts to break down, slowly it crumbles and we just simply can't put it back together fast enough.
Every family has it's little secrets, whether we decide to keep them to ourselves rather than share them with those that we are closest to is simply a decision one makes. Eventually little hints, signs, comments will make their way out and we slowly will pick them up and figure out what is going on..........
Point being, if we have a close knit family we need to embrace the comfort, security, and strength our family will give us. We need to remember our family is only here for us, to help us, to protect us, to do what is necessary to help us in whatever situation we are in..........
Life is definitely fragile, we hear the phrase "one in four will get this" one in three will experience that". Well, that really means at sometime someone in our family will be affected by something at sometime and we all will have to deal with it.
Yes, it's scary, yes, it makes us worry, yes, it makes us curious of the outcome, but.......we will unite, we will together build the strength and comfort needed for those in our family who need it right now and we will shower them with all that we have to give............
The conclusion to this entry is never doubt your family, trust in them, believe in them, let them in, they are your blood, they are a part of you, they will be there, they love you................
Just a Mom dealing with a family going through a lot of changes.............................
So, I must continue to say life is completely crazy, just like a roller coaster it goes up slowly and drops you down fast!!!
I try really hard to be involved in every aspect of my children's lives as well as my family members. We always think our family is made of stone, nothing can harm them, it won't happen to us, we'll be just fine.........................until, little by little that wall of strength starts to break down, slowly it crumbles and we just simply can't put it back together fast enough.
Every family has it's little secrets, whether we decide to keep them to ourselves rather than share them with those that we are closest to is simply a decision one makes. Eventually little hints, signs, comments will make their way out and we slowly will pick them up and figure out what is going on..........
Point being, if we have a close knit family we need to embrace the comfort, security, and strength our family will give us. We need to remember our family is only here for us, to help us, to protect us, to do what is necessary to help us in whatever situation we are in..........
Life is definitely fragile, we hear the phrase "one in four will get this" one in three will experience that". Well, that really means at sometime someone in our family will be affected by something at sometime and we all will have to deal with it.
Yes, it's scary, yes, it makes us worry, yes, it makes us curious of the outcome, but.......we will unite, we will together build the strength and comfort needed for those in our family who need it right now and we will shower them with all that we have to give............
The conclusion to this entry is never doubt your family, trust in them, believe in them, let them in, they are your blood, they are a part of you, they will be there, they love you................
Just a Mom dealing with a family going through a lot of changes.............................
Friday, October 9, 2009
Friiiiiday!!!!
Unbelievable! The week has simply flown by with a couple of attempts to blog but never made it to the end....
Life becomes crazy, fast, and even when you think you can try to get it to just slow down just enough to sit back and take a deep breath something interrupts it and off we go again!!!
There is not one day where we all just have a family evening all together..............don't get me wrong I am glad my children are very active, I can't even imagine them just being home everyday of the week with nothing else to do besides homework. Another positive point is the weeks do fly by fast...
Okay, so good news for the week, my Grandma's blood test results showed that she lacked vitamin B12. Infact it was so low they are giving her shots of it to bring it up. This vitamin effects the brain which would help us understand her memory loss and confusion. They're giving her shots of this vitamin for a month and then will test her again. Meanwhile we are going to see if it makes a difference with her mentally.........praying, crossing fingers, throwing it out to the universe, and doing anything else that would send positive vibes my Grandmas way that this helps her enough to make life less confusing and a bit more comfortable for her.
The craziness of the week, BOYS- not concerned about homework, not concerned about their clothes, not concerned about getting their stuff done. Mom- fuming about not having shirts picked out for school picture day after telling them the day before about choosing them ahead of time, exhausted of repeating myself about the morning schedule to make it out the door for school.
The shocker of the week, Mom Jr. - what happened to that sweet girl who had manners, was polite, quiet, all the other parents loved and would tell me how great she was??? Hmmm, I think she became swarmed by the obnoxious, loud, shocking behavior that Mom Jr. has now been sharing with everyone much to the surprise of her Dad and me.
It's unbelievable how this girl who dances 10 hours a week besides having 2 and 1/2 hours of soccer practice a week on top of school, which I must say is keeping her grades up could act the way she has.
Maybe she's been given too much and is taking advantage of all that we do for her, especially me. My new rule- keep it up, restrictions will be put in place..........
Somewhere in between all of the above I remind myself to breathe!!! Stop, close your eyes, breathe in deeply, and slowly release it.....................
Life continues on, mornings are becoming breezy and cool, we take it day by day, step by step, some steps are harder than others but we manage....
We take the tests our children throw our way and hopefully we pass them strongly so that they know not to test us again...................
Such a busy time in our lives, savor the quiet times, relax when possible, find time to better our health by exercising, oh, and don't forget to.................................laugh!!!!!!
Just a Mom trying to slow the pace down just a little.........................
Life becomes crazy, fast, and even when you think you can try to get it to just slow down just enough to sit back and take a deep breath something interrupts it and off we go again!!!
There is not one day where we all just have a family evening all together..............don't get me wrong I am glad my children are very active, I can't even imagine them just being home everyday of the week with nothing else to do besides homework. Another positive point is the weeks do fly by fast...
Okay, so good news for the week, my Grandma's blood test results showed that she lacked vitamin B12. Infact it was so low they are giving her shots of it to bring it up. This vitamin effects the brain which would help us understand her memory loss and confusion. They're giving her shots of this vitamin for a month and then will test her again. Meanwhile we are going to see if it makes a difference with her mentally.........praying, crossing fingers, throwing it out to the universe, and doing anything else that would send positive vibes my Grandmas way that this helps her enough to make life less confusing and a bit more comfortable for her.
The craziness of the week, BOYS- not concerned about homework, not concerned about their clothes, not concerned about getting their stuff done. Mom- fuming about not having shirts picked out for school picture day after telling them the day before about choosing them ahead of time, exhausted of repeating myself about the morning schedule to make it out the door for school.
The shocker of the week, Mom Jr. - what happened to that sweet girl who had manners, was polite, quiet, all the other parents loved and would tell me how great she was??? Hmmm, I think she became swarmed by the obnoxious, loud, shocking behavior that Mom Jr. has now been sharing with everyone much to the surprise of her Dad and me.
It's unbelievable how this girl who dances 10 hours a week besides having 2 and 1/2 hours of soccer practice a week on top of school, which I must say is keeping her grades up could act the way she has.
Maybe she's been given too much and is taking advantage of all that we do for her, especially me. My new rule- keep it up, restrictions will be put in place..........
Somewhere in between all of the above I remind myself to breathe!!! Stop, close your eyes, breathe in deeply, and slowly release it.....................
Life continues on, mornings are becoming breezy and cool, we take it day by day, step by step, some steps are harder than others but we manage....
We take the tests our children throw our way and hopefully we pass them strongly so that they know not to test us again...................
Such a busy time in our lives, savor the quiet times, relax when possible, find time to better our health by exercising, oh, and don't forget to.................................laugh!!!!!!
Just a Mom trying to slow the pace down just a little.........................
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Sunday Trip
Sunday morning- the sun was shining bright as the trees leaves were rustling around from the cool morning breeze....
Fall feels like it has finally arrived...to wake up snuggled in bed with a blanket as we could feel the cool air breezing in from the slightly opened window in our room. It's definitely a nice change from the hot summer mornings that have seemed to linger on longer than usual.
I got up, made some coffee, looked at the paper, and then started breakfast. My major objective for the day was to take D for a haircut now that he likes his hair a certain way and no longer wants my spiked hair cut and to get Jr. some jeans that will fit him.
After breakfast Mom Jr.(who usually goes everywhere with me), Jr., and D got ready to go out. I thought for sure J was going to want to go but to my surprise he said "Mama I stay here wit Daddy and help cut the grass".
First stop- haircut for D. We walk in, I give his name, they tell us it's going to be about 30 minutes. D tells me "Mom I got the wiggles". "You'll be fine, I use to get my haircut here when I was little" "right here?" "no, not this exact one".
Mom Jr. walks next door to look at the girly store while the boys and I wait. The boys start looking at hair style books. D and Jr. see a certain hairstyle "Mom you should cut your hair like that and surprise Daddy" "I actually like that style but not today". D is turning the pages and starts to giggle "look at the one, that persons face looks like Michael Jackson". Jr. now wants to see. Now both the boys are giggling. "Okay, stop, turn the page". Of course it has to be my boys in a small place that actually is very quiet to make the most noise!! They finally put the book down and D asks me "Mom do some people get their eyebrows cut?" "mmm, I don't know, girls get them plucked or waxed but I don't know if anyone gets them cut" "well, what about nose hairs? I bet some people cut their nose hairs". D says that to me as he giggles in this quiet place!! "I don't know, now just be quiet please". Of course, now it's Jr.'s turn...he's sliding off the bench, laying down, acting like he's shooting things........
Just a few more minutes, I'm watching people getting called up one by one. I don't know if the hair styles people are asking for are getting easier or if they are just rushing through to get to us next.
Finally!!! D is called, I talk to the hair stylist about what he wants and then I go to sit with Mom Jr. and Jr. The hair stylist calls me over to see D's hair and it looks great, she's asking me a few questions as I notice Mom Jr. and Jr. are now standing next to me. "Go sit down" they don't move "go sit down please!". It's like they have to give their approval too!
We make it out of there and head off to the clothing store that is in another town about 30 minutes away.
Jr. is tall and thin, he is my string bean boy, therefore he needs string bean jeans. He's lucky that now a days they make clothes to sort of fit his body type otherwise he would've been the boy either wearing high water pants or pants too big to stay on him unless he wore suspenders!
We get in the store I find him some that fit him in length, they are slims, with an adjustable waist. I have to pull them as tight as I can and yup they're still comfortable for him. Infact you'd never guess they're slims on him because they're still lose everywhere else. Mom Jr. has the same issues as Jr. except not as bad so of course she wants to try some on, oh, and don't forget D, he also wants to try on some.
Okay, so we're back in the dressing room, I have Mom Jr. standing behind me trying on pants as the boys are standing in front of me while D is putting on his pants. I don't know what happened but as I was folding the pants up for D I see his behind wiggling in my face. I look up into the mirror and he's dancing (and of course giggling)! "Hey, do these pants make you dance?!" D just continues to giggle as Jr. joins him.
We make it to the register. My intention was to buy jeans just for Jr. and ended up buying jeans for Mom Jr. and D as well. Of course I couldn't come home with nothing for J so I got him some pajamas. I swipe my card and start to enter my I.D. number.
D is standing right next to me "was that our phone number?" "no" "our address?" "no". The cashier is giving us the bag and handing me the receipt, D continues "5-8-4..." "be quiet" "what? I'm just saying the numbers out loud to see if I know them""that is my personal I.D. number that no one should know and you are saying it out loud" "ooohhhh".
Thank goodness, we were done. I think it was just enough shopping for the boys because they were actually quiet on the way home.
One thing is for sure, it's never a dull moment with these boys no matter where we are.........
Just a Mom glad to have accomplished what I set out to do for today..........................
Fall feels like it has finally arrived...to wake up snuggled in bed with a blanket as we could feel the cool air breezing in from the slightly opened window in our room. It's definitely a nice change from the hot summer mornings that have seemed to linger on longer than usual.
I got up, made some coffee, looked at the paper, and then started breakfast. My major objective for the day was to take D for a haircut now that he likes his hair a certain way and no longer wants my spiked hair cut and to get Jr. some jeans that will fit him.
After breakfast Mom Jr.(who usually goes everywhere with me), Jr., and D got ready to go out. I thought for sure J was going to want to go but to my surprise he said "Mama I stay here wit Daddy and help cut the grass".
First stop- haircut for D. We walk in, I give his name, they tell us it's going to be about 30 minutes. D tells me "Mom I got the wiggles". "You'll be fine, I use to get my haircut here when I was little" "right here?" "no, not this exact one".
Mom Jr. walks next door to look at the girly store while the boys and I wait. The boys start looking at hair style books. D and Jr. see a certain hairstyle "Mom you should cut your hair like that and surprise Daddy" "I actually like that style but not today". D is turning the pages and starts to giggle "look at the one, that persons face looks like Michael Jackson". Jr. now wants to see. Now both the boys are giggling. "Okay, stop, turn the page". Of course it has to be my boys in a small place that actually is very quiet to make the most noise!! They finally put the book down and D asks me "Mom do some people get their eyebrows cut?" "mmm, I don't know, girls get them plucked or waxed but I don't know if anyone gets them cut" "well, what about nose hairs? I bet some people cut their nose hairs". D says that to me as he giggles in this quiet place!! "I don't know, now just be quiet please". Of course, now it's Jr.'s turn...he's sliding off the bench, laying down, acting like he's shooting things........
Just a few more minutes, I'm watching people getting called up one by one. I don't know if the hair styles people are asking for are getting easier or if they are just rushing through to get to us next.
Finally!!! D is called, I talk to the hair stylist about what he wants and then I go to sit with Mom Jr. and Jr. The hair stylist calls me over to see D's hair and it looks great, she's asking me a few questions as I notice Mom Jr. and Jr. are now standing next to me. "Go sit down" they don't move "go sit down please!". It's like they have to give their approval too!
We make it out of there and head off to the clothing store that is in another town about 30 minutes away.
Jr. is tall and thin, he is my string bean boy, therefore he needs string bean jeans. He's lucky that now a days they make clothes to sort of fit his body type otherwise he would've been the boy either wearing high water pants or pants too big to stay on him unless he wore suspenders!
We get in the store I find him some that fit him in length, they are slims, with an adjustable waist. I have to pull them as tight as I can and yup they're still comfortable for him. Infact you'd never guess they're slims on him because they're still lose everywhere else. Mom Jr. has the same issues as Jr. except not as bad so of course she wants to try some on, oh, and don't forget D, he also wants to try on some.
Okay, so we're back in the dressing room, I have Mom Jr. standing behind me trying on pants as the boys are standing in front of me while D is putting on his pants. I don't know what happened but as I was folding the pants up for D I see his behind wiggling in my face. I look up into the mirror and he's dancing (and of course giggling)! "Hey, do these pants make you dance?!" D just continues to giggle as Jr. joins him.
We make it to the register. My intention was to buy jeans just for Jr. and ended up buying jeans for Mom Jr. and D as well. Of course I couldn't come home with nothing for J so I got him some pajamas. I swipe my card and start to enter my I.D. number.
D is standing right next to me "was that our phone number?" "no" "our address?" "no". The cashier is giving us the bag and handing me the receipt, D continues "5-8-4..." "be quiet" "what? I'm just saying the numbers out loud to see if I know them""that is my personal I.D. number that no one should know and you are saying it out loud" "ooohhhh".
Thank goodness, we were done. I think it was just enough shopping for the boys because they were actually quiet on the way home.
One thing is for sure, it's never a dull moment with these boys no matter where we are.........
Just a Mom glad to have accomplished what I set out to do for today..........................
Saturday, October 3, 2009
The next step...
Okay, so the week is over, the soccer games are done, the thoughts are flowing, what to do next, how to help, research, whatever is necessary to make life easier for our Grandma, our Mom, our Aunts..............
We all know that no one can live forever but we never ever want to think about what life would be like with out the ones we consider to be the strong one, the heart of the family, the one we make sure we all get together for the holidays, the special birthdays........
I, myself, feel a strong connection with my Grandmother. My Grandma worked at my elementary school. She was as an aide in a 6th grade classroom. My 2 cousins, my brother, and I went to the school. Everyone thought my Grandma was our Mom. They would say she looked so young she couldn't be our Grandma.
Our Grandma made sure we had a good breakfast before we left for school as did our Grandfather once he stopped working.
I could still see my Grandma sitting on her chair that had this golden cushion seat with a rod iron backing putting on her make up and brushing her hair just right before we'd leave for school. In her top dresser drawer she had egg cartons that she saved and used to hold her jewelery in.
My Grandma, always seemed so strong, so strict, but at the same time loves to hear music, dance, have company, and laugh.
My Grandma, the one who believed if you told her certain symptoms for an illness, she had it. I would tease her and tell her "Grandma if I gave you symptoms for being pregnant you'd say you had them". She would just laugh and tell me "no, I couldn't have that anymore".
Life continues to move on...............we go to our kids soccer games, cheer them on, smile, laugh, enjoy the day. In the back on my mind, I'm thinking of my Grandma. The last of the original generation for our family. The one who took care of my brother, 2 cousins, and me. I just can't help it, she is just such a big part of who I am, who I've become, how I care for my family. I don't understand how anyone who has been touched and cared for by her who could deny her the right of being completely comfortable and happy without fear as she continues on into the twilight of her life.
My Grandma who has told me the stories of her living in Gilroy with her Mom and got a job in San Francisco as a welder working on this ships that were going off into the war. There in San Francisco is where she met my Grandfather. He was so handsome all the women were looking at him. He came to my Grandma and asked her to dance and from there they were together until the end.
My kids love their Great Grandma. Jr., D, and J love to go visit Great Grandma and her dog Mango. J always wants to call Grandma to ask her if she'll take him to Great Grandmas house. Whenever we leave to go somewhere he knows exactly where Great Grandma lives and tells me "Mama there's Great Grandmas house".
So we continue on, make life as easy as possible for our Grandma, understand and have patience when she asks us the same thing over and over. I, myself, have to learn not to be scared of the changes that are occurring with her but rather figure a way to help her, ease her frustration as she, herself gets frustrated with the forgetfulness she is experiencing.
I am afraid of death, afraid of losing the links to my family.............especially the strong ones.
My Grandma could live for a long time and then again like my Grandfather it could come fast. I have always pulled myself away because of fear, this time I'm going to try and release the fear and embrace my Grandma for exactly who she is at the moment.
Either way I know my Grandma will be fine for she has the best care anyone could ask for in her 3 daughters ....my Mom, my Tia, and my Aunt..............
Just a Mom trying to deal with emotional and physical changes in her close family unit.........
We all know that no one can live forever but we never ever want to think about what life would be like with out the ones we consider to be the strong one, the heart of the family, the one we make sure we all get together for the holidays, the special birthdays........
I, myself, feel a strong connection with my Grandmother. My Grandma worked at my elementary school. She was as an aide in a 6th grade classroom. My 2 cousins, my brother, and I went to the school. Everyone thought my Grandma was our Mom. They would say she looked so young she couldn't be our Grandma.
Our Grandma made sure we had a good breakfast before we left for school as did our Grandfather once he stopped working.
I could still see my Grandma sitting on her chair that had this golden cushion seat with a rod iron backing putting on her make up and brushing her hair just right before we'd leave for school. In her top dresser drawer she had egg cartons that she saved and used to hold her jewelery in.
My Grandma, always seemed so strong, so strict, but at the same time loves to hear music, dance, have company, and laugh.
My Grandma, the one who believed if you told her certain symptoms for an illness, she had it. I would tease her and tell her "Grandma if I gave you symptoms for being pregnant you'd say you had them". She would just laugh and tell me "no, I couldn't have that anymore".
Life continues to move on...............we go to our kids soccer games, cheer them on, smile, laugh, enjoy the day. In the back on my mind, I'm thinking of my Grandma. The last of the original generation for our family. The one who took care of my brother, 2 cousins, and me. I just can't help it, she is just such a big part of who I am, who I've become, how I care for my family. I don't understand how anyone who has been touched and cared for by her who could deny her the right of being completely comfortable and happy without fear as she continues on into the twilight of her life.
My Grandma who has told me the stories of her living in Gilroy with her Mom and got a job in San Francisco as a welder working on this ships that were going off into the war. There in San Francisco is where she met my Grandfather. He was so handsome all the women were looking at him. He came to my Grandma and asked her to dance and from there they were together until the end.
My kids love their Great Grandma. Jr., D, and J love to go visit Great Grandma and her dog Mango. J always wants to call Grandma to ask her if she'll take him to Great Grandmas house. Whenever we leave to go somewhere he knows exactly where Great Grandma lives and tells me "Mama there's Great Grandmas house".
So we continue on, make life as easy as possible for our Grandma, understand and have patience when she asks us the same thing over and over. I, myself, have to learn not to be scared of the changes that are occurring with her but rather figure a way to help her, ease her frustration as she, herself gets frustrated with the forgetfulness she is experiencing.
I am afraid of death, afraid of losing the links to my family.............especially the strong ones.
My Grandma could live for a long time and then again like my Grandfather it could come fast. I have always pulled myself away because of fear, this time I'm going to try and release the fear and embrace my Grandma for exactly who she is at the moment.
Either way I know my Grandma will be fine for she has the best care anyone could ask for in her 3 daughters ....my Mom, my Tia, and my Aunt..............
Just a Mom trying to deal with emotional and physical changes in her close family unit.........
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
My Grandma, the rock of the family........
So my Aunts, my Mom, and I have been noticing my Grandma's forgetfulness.............
The funny thing is it's only with certain things, not all things, just some things.............
When my Mom was out of town my Grandma knew exactly when she was gone, had a pretty good idea when she was coming back, and didn't have any issues with remembering any of that.
While my Mom was gone I would make sure to call my Grandma once a day to make sure all was okay even though I knew my Aunts were also around.
My Grandma would seem fine for the most part but there was little signs that would bring up red signs.............
For example, we would be talking for about 10 minutes and she would interrupt and say "um, I'm sorry, who's this? Who am I talking to?" "Grandma, it's me". "oh, yes, yes, sorry of course it's you, do you know when your Mama's coming back?" "Yes, she'll be back next week" "Oh, yes, that's what I thought, I miss her" "yes, I do too Grandma".
My Grandma, she's always been the strength of the family whether she thought it or not....
I have always thought of my Grandma as comfort, as security, as part of the beginning of my family........
Honestly how could I not?? Whenever she had the chance to tell me she would say "You know, this whole family started with me and your Grandpa" "we are the ones who started all of this".
She is right, without her and my Grandpa life as we know it wouldn't have continued............
My Grandfather passed away almost 7 years ago............ever since then my Grandma has continued on by herself with the endless help from my Mom and Aunts..........
Lately it has been quite noticeable that my Grandma has now started to repeat certain things over and over, word for word, and completely unnoticeable to her.....
It has come to our attention that this has more to do with just getting older........... My Mom had a meeting with her doctor and they have come to the conclusion that my Grandmother, the rock of the family, the caretaker of the grand kids (when we were little), the one that had been there through it all is now in a fragile state.
They want to take away her independence, her car, her home, her only way of being............
My Grandmother would never want to be anywhere else than in her home with her dog.........
They now believe my Grandma has Dementia, the same thing my Grandfather had.
It scares me, my last Grand parent, I remember how fast my Grandfather went, no my Grandma isn't anywhere near the place my Grandfather was but still the thoughts go through my mind and even though we always have that cushion in the back of our minds to help prepare us for these moments it just still is not enough.....
My Grandma, today we were told, without an actual diagnosis but just by what has been said of the actions that have been shown by you, you seem to have Dementia.
My Grandma, the core of the family, the strength from what I know.............I will be here for whatever you need, for whatever help my Mom needs, I love you, you have always been there as I will always be here for you.
My Mom says not to worry, Grandma will be okay for now...................I'll try, honestly, I will be thinking a lot about you............
Just a Mom...............praying for my Grandma.
The funny thing is it's only with certain things, not all things, just some things.............
When my Mom was out of town my Grandma knew exactly when she was gone, had a pretty good idea when she was coming back, and didn't have any issues with remembering any of that.
While my Mom was gone I would make sure to call my Grandma once a day to make sure all was okay even though I knew my Aunts were also around.
My Grandma would seem fine for the most part but there was little signs that would bring up red signs.............
For example, we would be talking for about 10 minutes and she would interrupt and say "um, I'm sorry, who's this? Who am I talking to?" "Grandma, it's me". "oh, yes, yes, sorry of course it's you, do you know when your Mama's coming back?" "Yes, she'll be back next week" "Oh, yes, that's what I thought, I miss her" "yes, I do too Grandma".
My Grandma, she's always been the strength of the family whether she thought it or not....
I have always thought of my Grandma as comfort, as security, as part of the beginning of my family........
Honestly how could I not?? Whenever she had the chance to tell me she would say "You know, this whole family started with me and your Grandpa" "we are the ones who started all of this".
She is right, without her and my Grandpa life as we know it wouldn't have continued............
My Grandfather passed away almost 7 years ago............ever since then my Grandma has continued on by herself with the endless help from my Mom and Aunts..........
Lately it has been quite noticeable that my Grandma has now started to repeat certain things over and over, word for word, and completely unnoticeable to her.....
It has come to our attention that this has more to do with just getting older........... My Mom had a meeting with her doctor and they have come to the conclusion that my Grandmother, the rock of the family, the caretaker of the grand kids (when we were little), the one that had been there through it all is now in a fragile state.
They want to take away her independence, her car, her home, her only way of being............
My Grandmother would never want to be anywhere else than in her home with her dog.........
They now believe my Grandma has Dementia, the same thing my Grandfather had.
It scares me, my last Grand parent, I remember how fast my Grandfather went, no my Grandma isn't anywhere near the place my Grandfather was but still the thoughts go through my mind and even though we always have that cushion in the back of our minds to help prepare us for these moments it just still is not enough.....
My Grandma, today we were told, without an actual diagnosis but just by what has been said of the actions that have been shown by you, you seem to have Dementia.
My Grandma, the core of the family, the strength from what I know.............I will be here for whatever you need, for whatever help my Mom needs, I love you, you have always been there as I will always be here for you.
My Mom says not to worry, Grandma will be okay for now...................I'll try, honestly, I will be thinking a lot about you............
Just a Mom...............praying for my Grandma.
Monday, Monday
The weather has now turned.....................the triple digits we were feeling have now dropped by 20 degrees...
The kids still wore their shorts and shirts to school (which I would think they are going to wear until they absolutely have to stop).
Monday, was nice, Grandma came over to stay with Squiggly and J while I went to pick the kids up, came home, kids did homework, Mom Jr. went to dance, Daddy and D finished their science project for school. The a/c was off finally!!!
Tuesday comes along, there's a breeze early in the morning when Daddy is getting up for work....
As the kids get up for school they notice the breeze but still insist on wearing shorts and shirts.
I get them off to school and J and I hit the stores for veggies, fruits, school items, and groceries for the rest of the week. We even stopped and picked up new movies for them to watch...
We got home in time for J to clean up his toys as I put stuff away and cleaned up as well...
I made J lunch and continued cleaning up. Soon I turned to notice J was curled up in a ball asleep. I figured "okay, I'll let him take a nap for now before we have to go pick up the kids from school. I continued on with my endless laundry.
Time came for us to go and J was still asleep. I turned everything off and picked him up and put him in the car with a blanket covering him as it was very windy.....
We get to the school and J is now awake. He jumps out of his seat and tells me he has to pee. We park across a big grass field and by the way he was acting I knew for a fact he wouldn't make it to the school bathrooms AND to make it even worse he had no shoes on!! (now, there is no way I am going to let any of my children walk into a school or any public restroom without shoes on their feet!!).
Quickly my mind starts running, flashbacks of movies pop in my head of kids peeing in take out cups, water bottles......um, no I don't have any of those items in my vehicle..............
Then I remembered an episode of "Oprah"....one about Mom's and the things they do............one Mom was driving a long distance with her kids who talked most of the way and when they finally fell asleep and the drive was finally quiet she ended up having to pee really bad. She had a choice, either pull over into a gas station, wake the kids up so that she could pee.................or.............grab a diaper that she had for one of her kids and use it for herself, therefore not disturbing the peace by waking up her kids and being able to continue her drive in silence.
So she did just that, she used the diaper on herself...kids slept, she relieved herself, the trip ended on a good note......................
I start looking around in my vehicle for a diaper knowing I probably have one for an emergency such as this (although I thought the emergency would've been for Squiggly).
Oh! I found one..........I jump out of the front seat, open the door to the back J is standing there, I grab the diaper and open it. "Let's pull your pants down but hold it until I tell you" "Kay Mama but I have to pee!!". I quickly open the diaper, "okay" J proceeds to pee....................
Okay, woman who used a diaper to relieve herself...........either your kids wear Depends or you just have a completely weak bladder because my 3 year old son filled the diaper to the point where it even overflowed down his legs and onto his underwear and shorts!!!
Luckily I brought the blanket to cover him with since he was asleep when we left. When he was done I cleaned up the mess, wrapped him up in the blanket which he now looked like a sumo wrestler sitting in his seat waiting for his brothers and sister.
I was just hoping the kids would remember what I told them if they didn't see me waiting by their classrooms.
Thank God, they did. They came walking over to the car..........
Just a Mom never knowing there was actually something she hadn't experienced before.........
The kids still wore their shorts and shirts to school (which I would think they are going to wear until they absolutely have to stop).
Monday, was nice, Grandma came over to stay with Squiggly and J while I went to pick the kids up, came home, kids did homework, Mom Jr. went to dance, Daddy and D finished their science project for school. The a/c was off finally!!!
Tuesday comes along, there's a breeze early in the morning when Daddy is getting up for work....
As the kids get up for school they notice the breeze but still insist on wearing shorts and shirts.
I get them off to school and J and I hit the stores for veggies, fruits, school items, and groceries for the rest of the week. We even stopped and picked up new movies for them to watch...
We got home in time for J to clean up his toys as I put stuff away and cleaned up as well...
I made J lunch and continued cleaning up. Soon I turned to notice J was curled up in a ball asleep. I figured "okay, I'll let him take a nap for now before we have to go pick up the kids from school. I continued on with my endless laundry.
Time came for us to go and J was still asleep. I turned everything off and picked him up and put him in the car with a blanket covering him as it was very windy.....
We get to the school and J is now awake. He jumps out of his seat and tells me he has to pee. We park across a big grass field and by the way he was acting I knew for a fact he wouldn't make it to the school bathrooms AND to make it even worse he had no shoes on!! (now, there is no way I am going to let any of my children walk into a school or any public restroom without shoes on their feet!!).
Quickly my mind starts running, flashbacks of movies pop in my head of kids peeing in take out cups, water bottles......um, no I don't have any of those items in my vehicle..............
Then I remembered an episode of "Oprah"....one about Mom's and the things they do............one Mom was driving a long distance with her kids who talked most of the way and when they finally fell asleep and the drive was finally quiet she ended up having to pee really bad. She had a choice, either pull over into a gas station, wake the kids up so that she could pee.................or.............grab a diaper that she had for one of her kids and use it for herself, therefore not disturbing the peace by waking up her kids and being able to continue her drive in silence.
So she did just that, she used the diaper on herself...kids slept, she relieved herself, the trip ended on a good note......................
I start looking around in my vehicle for a diaper knowing I probably have one for an emergency such as this (although I thought the emergency would've been for Squiggly).
Oh! I found one..........I jump out of the front seat, open the door to the back J is standing there, I grab the diaper and open it. "Let's pull your pants down but hold it until I tell you" "Kay Mama but I have to pee!!". I quickly open the diaper, "okay" J proceeds to pee....................
Okay, woman who used a diaper to relieve herself...........either your kids wear Depends or you just have a completely weak bladder because my 3 year old son filled the diaper to the point where it even overflowed down his legs and onto his underwear and shorts!!!
Luckily I brought the blanket to cover him with since he was asleep when we left. When he was done I cleaned up the mess, wrapped him up in the blanket which he now looked like a sumo wrestler sitting in his seat waiting for his brothers and sister.
I was just hoping the kids would remember what I told them if they didn't see me waiting by their classrooms.
Thank God, they did. They came walking over to the car..........
Just a Mom never knowing there was actually something she hadn't experienced before.........
Change of Seasons??
Exactly like day and night?! No kidding, one day we're unbelievably hot in the triple digits playing soccer...so hot the sunblock I put on in the morning was no longer in effect by the time we started our last soccer game...came home, felt a little sting and no it wasn't because we lost the game, in fact we won!!!! Jr. even scored a goal!!!!
Actually the sting was from a sunburn I got from watching (and of course yelling) at our last game.
Sunday came around, still feeling the sting....Mom Jr. and I went with some friends to go watch "Fame". A movie all about performing arts. Mom Jr. loved it (as I figured she would)... It was actually nice. I have a hard time leaving my family to go out and enjoy myself doing something that I know they'd all like to do. I actually had to talk myself into not feeling guilty about going to the movies (even though I wasn't going by myself I still was taking my daughter).
I made a good breakfast for everyone, went to the store to get anything they needed for a project Daddy was helping D finish for school.
And the really BIG thing I did was...............................I graduated!!!!!
I actually bought myself a........wait....are you ready for this???
I bought myself a...................................................PURSE!!!!!
I know, completely crazy!?!?!? Right??? I mean, I am a woman who has a wallet and other items to hold onto......my last child is now 3 who doesn't need me to carry baby items.........
Let me just say it has been 10 years since I have carried a purse!!! Yes, 10 YEARS!!!! So long that I couldn't even choose one, I felt like I didn't know what was cute or "in"...Of course I didn't go out and get some name brand purse that cost an unbelievable amount for me just to carry items in that I would eventually lay in shopping carts, on the floor of places, on the floor in the car where everyone steps.............sorry, no I am not that into the "name" of an item just yet to throw a couple of hundred dollars out just to get dirt on.........
I had Mom Jr. with me, she chose it, I agreed and we were on our way out. We actually checked out of the store with my Sister.....she too was surprised that I was actually transitioning from the small baby bag to an actual purse....she also gave it the okay.
I told her "If it was up to me I would've got something smaller" My sister said "Okay, wait, there is no way I am going to let you get a fanny pack!". "What?!?! No, I would not get one of those!!! I meant just a smaller purse".
Glad to know at least my Sister would stop me from making a fool out of myself (that's if I ever completely lost my mind!!!).
So yes, now I am trying to get use to actually carrying a purse rather than a baby bag...infact just today I was rushing out the door to pick the kids up from school. I threw my phone in the pocket and darted towards the door with Squiggly on one hip and my bag on the other shoulder......
As I passed the table by the door I noticed my "new" purse with all my necessities in it. I said out loud "Old habits die hard that's for sure". I grabbed my phone, dropped it in my purse and out we went..........
10 years..................who I was then to who I am now..........independent to a dependent of 4...like I said it's crazy how much is lost of oneself...
Just a Mom.....................transitioning
Actually the sting was from a sunburn I got from watching (and of course yelling) at our last game.
Sunday came around, still feeling the sting....Mom Jr. and I went with some friends to go watch "Fame". A movie all about performing arts. Mom Jr. loved it (as I figured she would)... It was actually nice. I have a hard time leaving my family to go out and enjoy myself doing something that I know they'd all like to do. I actually had to talk myself into not feeling guilty about going to the movies (even though I wasn't going by myself I still was taking my daughter).
I made a good breakfast for everyone, went to the store to get anything they needed for a project Daddy was helping D finish for school.
And the really BIG thing I did was...............................I graduated!!!!!
I actually bought myself a........wait....are you ready for this???
I bought myself a...................................................PURSE!!!!!
I know, completely crazy!?!?!? Right??? I mean, I am a woman who has a wallet and other items to hold onto......my last child is now 3 who doesn't need me to carry baby items.........
Let me just say it has been 10 years since I have carried a purse!!! Yes, 10 YEARS!!!! So long that I couldn't even choose one, I felt like I didn't know what was cute or "in"...Of course I didn't go out and get some name brand purse that cost an unbelievable amount for me just to carry items in that I would eventually lay in shopping carts, on the floor of places, on the floor in the car where everyone steps.............sorry, no I am not that into the "name" of an item just yet to throw a couple of hundred dollars out just to get dirt on.........
I had Mom Jr. with me, she chose it, I agreed and we were on our way out. We actually checked out of the store with my Sister.....she too was surprised that I was actually transitioning from the small baby bag to an actual purse....she also gave it the okay.
I told her "If it was up to me I would've got something smaller" My sister said "Okay, wait, there is no way I am going to let you get a fanny pack!". "What?!?! No, I would not get one of those!!! I meant just a smaller purse".
Glad to know at least my Sister would stop me from making a fool out of myself (that's if I ever completely lost my mind!!!).
So yes, now I am trying to get use to actually carrying a purse rather than a baby bag...infact just today I was rushing out the door to pick the kids up from school. I threw my phone in the pocket and darted towards the door with Squiggly on one hip and my bag on the other shoulder......
As I passed the table by the door I noticed my "new" purse with all my necessities in it. I said out loud "Old habits die hard that's for sure". I grabbed my phone, dropped it in my purse and out we went..........
10 years..................who I was then to who I am now..........independent to a dependent of 4...like I said it's crazy how much is lost of oneself...
Just a Mom.....................transitioning
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Whooosh!!!
Is all I can say about the time between my last post to this one. Life has been unbelievably busy...
With school, Grandparents Day, Jr.'s birthday, Daddy's birthday, 4 soccer practices a week, back and forth to dance three days a week, 3 soccer games on the weekend, soccer pictures............ugh, just typing it all out is exhausting not to mention just the usual- taking care of squiggly who now is a full time crawler on the brink of walking.
You know Moms shes at the stage of pulling herself up and walking along anything she can hang on. Yes, I know it's only a matter of time when she decides to let go and take those first steps all on her own. I just hope she does it when she's with her Mom. I don't want to not tell her if she does it with me first because as a Mom I'd like to know....on the other hand............I know she'll be sad.................hmmmm, we'll see.
J is just as feisty as ever, that boy, I'm preparing school lunches for the other 3 as they're getting ready for school. J walks in the kitchen wearing rain boots shorts, tank top, and 2 hats. "Mama, it gonna rain?" "no, infact it's going to be very hot today" "Oh, I gonna go camping den Mama" "Open back door fo me pleeessse" "okay". The sprinklers are on in the back and one of our big floating toys for the pool was laying across the rail of the bridge leading from the cement to the grass.
J went out there and was pretending that was his house as he was camping (see my kids have never been camping so what they see on TV about it is what they know). I continued making lunches as the other 3 were now downstairs putting on shoes, fixing their hair, getting their backpacks together.
J comes back in the house "I back Mama" "Did you have fun?" "Um, sure Mama, I got a little wet" "Oh, well go take off your rain boots and put on your flip flops so we can leave" "aaaaahhhhh, I want to wear my boots, I gonna go back out".
J has learned quite well from his brothers how to pout, he hunches over as he walks away practically falling to his knees. By this time I'm too busy to let it bother me as I'm spraying sun block on the others and fixing Mom Jr.'s hair to the style she has requested for the day.
We get in the car, make it to school, watch their morning opening, and go about our day...
Today was actually the first day I was able to come straight home and stay here until I had to go out and get the kids. My mind has been on overload lately with all the unfinished business around here. So now I was on fire!!!
It took me 3 hours to just clean the downstairs and even then I didn't completely clean the bathroom. I took a break to serve lunch to J and me and then I got right back up to start preparing dinner.
Right when I finished it was time to head out to pick up the kids, come home, get Mom Jr. ready for dance, Daddy came home, and Mom Jr. and I are out............
Never ending, the sun rises and I'm already downstairs preparing lunch, the sun sets and I'm out picking someone up...........
This is when I myself am truly lost................no time to worry about that anyway I'm too busy with everything else. Good thing about being busy I don't feel the loss..........until I take the time to think about all that I've done and it's for her, for him, for him, for him, and for him..........um, and then I notice what's for me???
Someday I'll arrive, someday I will be important, someday they will stop, appreciate, and really understand all that I do for them......
Until then.................
Just a Mom on the go.......................................completely for them.
With school, Grandparents Day, Jr.'s birthday, Daddy's birthday, 4 soccer practices a week, back and forth to dance three days a week, 3 soccer games on the weekend, soccer pictures............ugh, just typing it all out is exhausting not to mention just the usual- taking care of squiggly who now is a full time crawler on the brink of walking.
You know Moms shes at the stage of pulling herself up and walking along anything she can hang on. Yes, I know it's only a matter of time when she decides to let go and take those first steps all on her own. I just hope she does it when she's with her Mom. I don't want to not tell her if she does it with me first because as a Mom I'd like to know....on the other hand............I know she'll be sad.................hmmmm, we'll see.
J is just as feisty as ever, that boy, I'm preparing school lunches for the other 3 as they're getting ready for school. J walks in the kitchen wearing rain boots shorts, tank top, and 2 hats. "Mama, it gonna rain?" "no, infact it's going to be very hot today" "Oh, I gonna go camping den Mama" "Open back door fo me pleeessse" "okay". The sprinklers are on in the back and one of our big floating toys for the pool was laying across the rail of the bridge leading from the cement to the grass.
J went out there and was pretending that was his house as he was camping (see my kids have never been camping so what they see on TV about it is what they know). I continued making lunches as the other 3 were now downstairs putting on shoes, fixing their hair, getting their backpacks together.
J comes back in the house "I back Mama" "Did you have fun?" "Um, sure Mama, I got a little wet" "Oh, well go take off your rain boots and put on your flip flops so we can leave" "aaaaahhhhh, I want to wear my boots, I gonna go back out".
J has learned quite well from his brothers how to pout, he hunches over as he walks away practically falling to his knees. By this time I'm too busy to let it bother me as I'm spraying sun block on the others and fixing Mom Jr.'s hair to the style she has requested for the day.
We get in the car, make it to school, watch their morning opening, and go about our day...
Today was actually the first day I was able to come straight home and stay here until I had to go out and get the kids. My mind has been on overload lately with all the unfinished business around here. So now I was on fire!!!
It took me 3 hours to just clean the downstairs and even then I didn't completely clean the bathroom. I took a break to serve lunch to J and me and then I got right back up to start preparing dinner.
Right when I finished it was time to head out to pick up the kids, come home, get Mom Jr. ready for dance, Daddy came home, and Mom Jr. and I are out............
Never ending, the sun rises and I'm already downstairs preparing lunch, the sun sets and I'm out picking someone up...........
This is when I myself am truly lost................no time to worry about that anyway I'm too busy with everything else. Good thing about being busy I don't feel the loss..........until I take the time to think about all that I've done and it's for her, for him, for him, for him, and for him..........um, and then I notice what's for me???
Someday I'll arrive, someday I will be important, someday they will stop, appreciate, and really understand all that I do for them......
Until then.................
Just a Mom on the go.......................................completely for them.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Hello???
How time flies when you're looking the other way!!!
Wow, this has been the longest time I've been away from my blog...and let me say I can tell, I feel the words of different situations zooming around in my head. If only at the times I had these thoughts I had something to put them down on. Now that all activities are in full swing I'm running from one place to another and when I'm not I'm trying to catch up on the endless deeds that need to be done.....
Well, my Mom is back, and the only way I can explain how happy that makes me is imagine yourself in the most peaceful, relaxful place. There you stand with a smile on your face and you take in a nice deep breath......ooooh, how good the nice cool air makes you feel going in and even coming out. It's exactly what you need, just to make the sun shine a little brighter on you............
That's how I felt when I woke up in the morning knowing my Mom was back at home. Welcome back Mom, oh how we missed you!!!!
Everyday we get up we go about our daily lives, we have our routines, the day begins and ends, and life as we know it pretty much follows along just as usual..........
Today is Jr.'s Birthday, my oldest son is now 9 years old. I don't know why but this Birthday was an exciting one for him. Last night he came to me and said "my stomach feels weird" "why? are you feeling sick?" "no, I just can't believe this is the last night I will be 8 years old" "that's right, by the time you wake up tomorrow you'll already be 9 years old". He had this big smile on his face and he just kind of floated away...
I am always telling my kids to enjoy the age that they are because once it's gone it will never come back around. I guess my words are sinking in if Jr. couldn't stop thinking about not being 8 anymore.
I get up in the morning, grab a cup of coffee and lean against some pillows on the couch as I watch the news trying to wake up..
Jr. comes down stairs and makes his way over to the other side of the couch. "Happy Birthday" "thank you". There on the couch we both just lay there in the dark staring at the T.V.
Once the sun starts to makes its way in the house D and J find their way over to the couch. I'm now up and making lunch. D is playing a game on the DS Jr. asks him "you want me to help you?" "mmmm, nah" "you should let me help you after all it is my Birthday" "Oh, ya! Happy Birthday, here you go".
I put cereal out for breakfast after I finished making lunch. Mom Jr. has gotten up and is now in the shower, great, that means I'm going to miss taking mine ......... I thought missing shower days ended when they were babies...........hmmm, kinda looks like that time is coming back around again.
Mom Jr. finally makes it downstairs just in time to have breakfast and get ready to go. "Why are we leaving so early?" "We have to stop and get doughnuts for Jr.'s class" "oh, yeah, I forgot Happy Birthday".
We make it out of the house in time to get the doughnuts.
We end up buying out the rest of the glaze, some of the chocolate, and maple. The lady asked "what's the occasion?" "It's his 9th birthday, these are for him to share with his class". "Oh, Happy Birthday, here you can have this sprinkle one for your birthday". "Thank you".
J starts to cry as we're getting in the car "I want a doughnut" "you'll get one as soon as we get to the school".
Morning opening starts at their school. This is when all the kids stand with their classmates all around in the quad area. One class stands up on the stage, leads in the Pledge of Allegiance, sings a patriotic song, calls up anyone who has a Birthday, and they do an exercise to start the day.
I see Jr. making his way to the stage for his Birthday. In my mind I replay the past years I've seen him go up since he was in first grade. I remember the first time just hoping he would do it. He was so little making his way that first year.....
Now he's tall, I still see that little boy in his face, that smile with his little dimples, the way his eyes look like they're smiling too.......
He now is in front of the microphone, a little girl asks him his name and age, he has to bend down to answer her which he does and as he answers her his whole class starts to yell for him. He turns to look towards them, smiles and points their way........
I look at him and can see him in high school as they call his jersey number for basketball, football, baseball, which ever sport he desires to play and can hear the screams he'll receive from the stands....................
There I'll be, proud as ever, holding back the tears of my first born boy who will be a powerhouse no doubt!!!
The school is now singing Happy Birthday to all those who have a birthday, of course, I don't notice anyone else but my son. Mom Jr. and her friends are in front of me and when it comes to the point in the song to say a name her friends and her scream his name.
I'm glad to have my sun glasses on because of course I can feel my eyes getting watery. Does this happen with each year? Or am I just a sap??? I am very emotional when it comes to my kids. I have to be there when they are each playing soccer. If one of their games overlap with another I have to have my Mom at one of them at all times as I run back and forth to each game.
When I leave Mom Jr. at dance I only leave her long enough for me to get dinner started or to spend half the time with the boys at practice. I have to make sure they all know I will be there.
Jr. is enjoying his birthday, he makes sure to not only share the doughnuts with the class but with his teacher and makes sure to give one to the other 4th grade teacher.
I made sure to make exactly what he wanted for dinner. Grandma really made his day when she gave him exactly what he wanted for his birthday.
I managed to make it to Mom Jr.'s soccer practice, pass out information to the parents, came home with the boys, ran a mile and a half, and made dinner.
Jr. came home, took his shower and immediately started working with his gift from Grandma...
The day has now come to an end.........the kids said good night and started making their way back upstairs to bed. Jr. came over to me and said "I don't want my birthday to end" "Don't worry you now have a new birth year to enjoy before the next birthday arrives" "oh, yeah!! Thanks Mom! Good night".
My littlest baby, weighing in at 7 pounds, 4 ounces. When I arrived at the hospital I was asking for an epidural. I must've had a new nurse cause she was nervous about everything. The doctor came in and said it was fine to go ahead and give me the epidural. The nurse took so long Jr. wasn't going to wait anymore.
I told my husband "I have to push". He looked "Um, someone better get in here, he's coming". The nurse ran in "close her legs!" as her and another nurse pushed my whole bed into the delivery room.
The doctor got in there just in time before Jr. came out screaming.
My Mom didn't even realize I had him. She was with Mom Jr. and my Sister worrying because this new nurse made her think something was wrong..
Daddy cut the chord, and there was our first little boy. Tiny as he was, at least to us, his little face with this big mouth.
I just layed there, Daddy walked out to tell my Mom. She came in right away "Hi mijo" is what she said when she saw him, her first grand baby boy.
I looked at him and thought "wow, he's small, his little head, and wait, wow, he has a big mouth!!! He looks like Mick Jagger!!!
Well, that was then, my scrawny baby boy with the big mouth!!
Thank goodness his body caught up with his mouth!!
Jr. my boy, with the sensitive soul, the smile that melts your heart, the happy eyes, the silly sense of humor.................
Happy Birthday Jr. you are a dream come true, you are exactly what your Father has wished for, you are amazing, full of promise, joy, love, determination to be the best at whatever you set your mind to...
My little boy, I hope and pray, life will always be beautiful for you....
Happy 9th Birthday Jr. may your 9th year be exactly what you want it to be as I will be there with you to record all the memories.......I LOVE YOU.....
Just a Mom looking back at my boys first 9 years and looking forward to the next.....................
Wow, this has been the longest time I've been away from my blog...and let me say I can tell, I feel the words of different situations zooming around in my head. If only at the times I had these thoughts I had something to put them down on. Now that all activities are in full swing I'm running from one place to another and when I'm not I'm trying to catch up on the endless deeds that need to be done.....
Well, my Mom is back, and the only way I can explain how happy that makes me is imagine yourself in the most peaceful, relaxful place. There you stand with a smile on your face and you take in a nice deep breath......ooooh, how good the nice cool air makes you feel going in and even coming out. It's exactly what you need, just to make the sun shine a little brighter on you............
That's how I felt when I woke up in the morning knowing my Mom was back at home. Welcome back Mom, oh how we missed you!!!!
Everyday we get up we go about our daily lives, we have our routines, the day begins and ends, and life as we know it pretty much follows along just as usual..........
Today is Jr.'s Birthday, my oldest son is now 9 years old. I don't know why but this Birthday was an exciting one for him. Last night he came to me and said "my stomach feels weird" "why? are you feeling sick?" "no, I just can't believe this is the last night I will be 8 years old" "that's right, by the time you wake up tomorrow you'll already be 9 years old". He had this big smile on his face and he just kind of floated away...
I am always telling my kids to enjoy the age that they are because once it's gone it will never come back around. I guess my words are sinking in if Jr. couldn't stop thinking about not being 8 anymore.
I get up in the morning, grab a cup of coffee and lean against some pillows on the couch as I watch the news trying to wake up..
Jr. comes down stairs and makes his way over to the other side of the couch. "Happy Birthday" "thank you". There on the couch we both just lay there in the dark staring at the T.V.
Once the sun starts to makes its way in the house D and J find their way over to the couch. I'm now up and making lunch. D is playing a game on the DS Jr. asks him "you want me to help you?" "mmmm, nah" "you should let me help you after all it is my Birthday" "Oh, ya! Happy Birthday, here you go".
I put cereal out for breakfast after I finished making lunch. Mom Jr. has gotten up and is now in the shower, great, that means I'm going to miss taking mine ......... I thought missing shower days ended when they were babies...........hmmm, kinda looks like that time is coming back around again.
Mom Jr. finally makes it downstairs just in time to have breakfast and get ready to go. "Why are we leaving so early?" "We have to stop and get doughnuts for Jr.'s class" "oh, yeah, I forgot Happy Birthday".
We make it out of the house in time to get the doughnuts.
We end up buying out the rest of the glaze, some of the chocolate, and maple. The lady asked "what's the occasion?" "It's his 9th birthday, these are for him to share with his class". "Oh, Happy Birthday, here you can have this sprinkle one for your birthday". "Thank you".
J starts to cry as we're getting in the car "I want a doughnut" "you'll get one as soon as we get to the school".
Morning opening starts at their school. This is when all the kids stand with their classmates all around in the quad area. One class stands up on the stage, leads in the Pledge of Allegiance, sings a patriotic song, calls up anyone who has a Birthday, and they do an exercise to start the day.
I see Jr. making his way to the stage for his Birthday. In my mind I replay the past years I've seen him go up since he was in first grade. I remember the first time just hoping he would do it. He was so little making his way that first year.....
Now he's tall, I still see that little boy in his face, that smile with his little dimples, the way his eyes look like they're smiling too.......
He now is in front of the microphone, a little girl asks him his name and age, he has to bend down to answer her which he does and as he answers her his whole class starts to yell for him. He turns to look towards them, smiles and points their way........
I look at him and can see him in high school as they call his jersey number for basketball, football, baseball, which ever sport he desires to play and can hear the screams he'll receive from the stands....................
There I'll be, proud as ever, holding back the tears of my first born boy who will be a powerhouse no doubt!!!
The school is now singing Happy Birthday to all those who have a birthday, of course, I don't notice anyone else but my son. Mom Jr. and her friends are in front of me and when it comes to the point in the song to say a name her friends and her scream his name.
I'm glad to have my sun glasses on because of course I can feel my eyes getting watery. Does this happen with each year? Or am I just a sap??? I am very emotional when it comes to my kids. I have to be there when they are each playing soccer. If one of their games overlap with another I have to have my Mom at one of them at all times as I run back and forth to each game.
When I leave Mom Jr. at dance I only leave her long enough for me to get dinner started or to spend half the time with the boys at practice. I have to make sure they all know I will be there.
Jr. is enjoying his birthday, he makes sure to not only share the doughnuts with the class but with his teacher and makes sure to give one to the other 4th grade teacher.
I made sure to make exactly what he wanted for dinner. Grandma really made his day when she gave him exactly what he wanted for his birthday.
I managed to make it to Mom Jr.'s soccer practice, pass out information to the parents, came home with the boys, ran a mile and a half, and made dinner.
Jr. came home, took his shower and immediately started working with his gift from Grandma...
The day has now come to an end.........the kids said good night and started making their way back upstairs to bed. Jr. came over to me and said "I don't want my birthday to end" "Don't worry you now have a new birth year to enjoy before the next birthday arrives" "oh, yeah!! Thanks Mom! Good night".
My littlest baby, weighing in at 7 pounds, 4 ounces. When I arrived at the hospital I was asking for an epidural. I must've had a new nurse cause she was nervous about everything. The doctor came in and said it was fine to go ahead and give me the epidural. The nurse took so long Jr. wasn't going to wait anymore.
I told my husband "I have to push". He looked "Um, someone better get in here, he's coming". The nurse ran in "close her legs!" as her and another nurse pushed my whole bed into the delivery room.
The doctor got in there just in time before Jr. came out screaming.
My Mom didn't even realize I had him. She was with Mom Jr. and my Sister worrying because this new nurse made her think something was wrong..
Daddy cut the chord, and there was our first little boy. Tiny as he was, at least to us, his little face with this big mouth.
I just layed there, Daddy walked out to tell my Mom. She came in right away "Hi mijo" is what she said when she saw him, her first grand baby boy.
I looked at him and thought "wow, he's small, his little head, and wait, wow, he has a big mouth!!! He looks like Mick Jagger!!!
Well, that was then, my scrawny baby boy with the big mouth!!
Thank goodness his body caught up with his mouth!!
Jr. my boy, with the sensitive soul, the smile that melts your heart, the happy eyes, the silly sense of humor.................
Happy Birthday Jr. you are a dream come true, you are exactly what your Father has wished for, you are amazing, full of promise, joy, love, determination to be the best at whatever you set your mind to...
My little boy, I hope and pray, life will always be beautiful for you....
Happy 9th Birthday Jr. may your 9th year be exactly what you want it to be as I will be there with you to record all the memories.......I LOVE YOU.....
Just a Mom looking back at my boys first 9 years and looking forward to the next.....................
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
It just keeps on rollin' on............
and on and on and on.....Now that the days are getting busier and slowly getting shorter our activities that have just begun are definitely filling in any free time that we did have.
This week, though it began a day late because Monday was a holiday has been on a continuous roll.
It started off Tuesday, back to school, back to work, and wait no, we didn't drive to school, the kids rode their bikes and I ran pushing J. See we would've normally taken the SUV but due to the fact that Daddy's tires were not only bald on his truck one of the tires had some type of nail stuck in it.
Of course by the time we got around to calling anywhere it was too late to get them done before he went back. He said "I can still drive it" "um, no I don't think so, if that tire blows on the freeway that would not be a good thing!". So, I waved good bye to my trusty transportation for the kids and me and said hello to the bikes, jogging stroller, and my running shoes!
Tuesday morning, we get up and get out. I'm still sore from Sunday but I can do this!! It's not so bad, the air is cool while the sun is bright, I have my trusty ipod on with some upbeat music to push me right along. Okay, yes I did walk a little but hey, it's not like I've been running a lot lately!!
We all make it to school in plenty of time for me to help Jr. put some gel in his hair to spike it after wearing his bike helmet and put Mom Jr.'s hair in a pony as her friends watch on waiting to walk off with her.
D handed over his safety gear after locking up his bike and walked off to class, and little J, well he was just fine eating his dry cereal in a baggie with his water right next to him..
On the way home I run/walk again. We come in and I start to pick up a little and start to get ready to take the truck in for new tires. Ugh, walking up the stairs is starting to get a little hard, the soreness I had before was light but now my knee is hurting and I can feel the burn in my thighs. We get ready and get in the truck that I'm a little hesitant about driving anywhere! I don't like driving on bald tires let alone with a nail stuck in one of them. I strap J in nice and tight and proceed to drive slowly. You know how you would normally get stuck behind that one person who is going maybe 20 mph on a 35 mph....well, that was me.
See, in my mind I thought okay, if I drive slowly and very carefully maybe my chances of it popping are less, I won't hit any bumps on the rode quickly therefore the truck won't hit hard. Besides it's mid morning on a week day in a mostly residential area (thank goodness, the place I was going to wasn't in the middle of the town but more out on the side). People driving around at that time during the week in this area are either elderly or stay at home parents, and the occasional high school or college student.
J and I cautiously pull into the parking lot of the tire shop and I breathe a sigh of relief, whoooh!
Go in, of course they don't have the tires I need on hand, they'd have to be ordered...which would mean more running/bike riding.............now first of all, our weather is heating up the rest of the week, second of all the soreness was stepping up a level, not to mention Squiggly would be joining in on the ride and as light as she is it would definitely not be good for her.
"How did I know you were going to say that?" "Let me call my husband and see what he wants to do"..
Turns out they had some there that were comparable to what he wanted. "We'll take them!".
J and I walk to the Dollar Store to waste some time. We come out spending
$8.00 on 2 Dora bowls, 3 boxes a character sandwich baggies, 1 box of snack baggies, a Diet Dr. Pepper for me, and a fire fighter hat for J. "Mama I need dat hat cause when I gow up I gonna be a fiwe fighter" "Okay, which one, the red one or yellow?" "mmmm, I like the wed one""Thank you Mama!".
We walk back to the tire shop and now that J has on his fire fighter hat he feels empowered to put his hand out to cars passing by "Top!! I'm a fiwe fighter!!" He was happy as can be with that hat!
We're just in time, tires on, trucks done, and now it's safe!!
We make it back home just in time to have lunch. By now I feel like I'm so sore I'm starting to walk funny, not good...
Time to go, back in the stroller, off to pick them up at school. I run partially again, feeling a little more energetic now that I ate. We get there and turn around to come back home. We take the bike path just because I don't have to worry about crossing streets or having the kids ride on the side of the street because people are walking on the sidewalk.
We get on the path, it's hot, the breeze is gone, and they just re-did the bike path with what looks like black tar...
Ugh, J is asleep, I am trying to run, I'm hot and tired, I even try to walk fast but I just felt like I wasn't walking fast enough.
Eventually we make it home, kids start their homework, I jump on the computer to get the paperwork needed to pass out at our soccer practice...
Get to practice, talk to the parents, pass out papers, keep an eye on the boys........
Get home, put dinner in the oven, get the kids in the shower, feed them, have them read and then to bed, start cleaning up the kitchen just enough so that the counters are cleaned off, make lunch for Daddy, and prepare the kids water bottles for the next day of school.......
Ugh, never ending, I take my sore self up the stairs to bed knowing there is still so much for me to do, paperwork needed for our boys soccer team, finishing cleaning up in the kitchen, toys that need to be picked up, clothes that need to folded that are in the dryer..............on and on and on.
The days over, time to rest, what isn't done today can be taken care of tomorrow.
Wednesday isn't any easier, Squiggly shows up with a cold so my attention is fully on her, dishes stay where they are, toys remain scattered around plus the new ones J has decided to take out, Mom Jr. starts dance after school...
Again night is here another busy day gone, everyone is finally asleep...................until tomorrow where we'll begin all over again.
Just a Mom............................
This week, though it began a day late because Monday was a holiday has been on a continuous roll.
It started off Tuesday, back to school, back to work, and wait no, we didn't drive to school, the kids rode their bikes and I ran pushing J. See we would've normally taken the SUV but due to the fact that Daddy's tires were not only bald on his truck one of the tires had some type of nail stuck in it.
Of course by the time we got around to calling anywhere it was too late to get them done before he went back. He said "I can still drive it" "um, no I don't think so, if that tire blows on the freeway that would not be a good thing!". So, I waved good bye to my trusty transportation for the kids and me and said hello to the bikes, jogging stroller, and my running shoes!
Tuesday morning, we get up and get out. I'm still sore from Sunday but I can do this!! It's not so bad, the air is cool while the sun is bright, I have my trusty ipod on with some upbeat music to push me right along. Okay, yes I did walk a little but hey, it's not like I've been running a lot lately!!
We all make it to school in plenty of time for me to help Jr. put some gel in his hair to spike it after wearing his bike helmet and put Mom Jr.'s hair in a pony as her friends watch on waiting to walk off with her.
D handed over his safety gear after locking up his bike and walked off to class, and little J, well he was just fine eating his dry cereal in a baggie with his water right next to him..
On the way home I run/walk again. We come in and I start to pick up a little and start to get ready to take the truck in for new tires. Ugh, walking up the stairs is starting to get a little hard, the soreness I had before was light but now my knee is hurting and I can feel the burn in my thighs. We get ready and get in the truck that I'm a little hesitant about driving anywhere! I don't like driving on bald tires let alone with a nail stuck in one of them. I strap J in nice and tight and proceed to drive slowly. You know how you would normally get stuck behind that one person who is going maybe 20 mph on a 35 mph....well, that was me.
See, in my mind I thought okay, if I drive slowly and very carefully maybe my chances of it popping are less, I won't hit any bumps on the rode quickly therefore the truck won't hit hard. Besides it's mid morning on a week day in a mostly residential area (thank goodness, the place I was going to wasn't in the middle of the town but more out on the side). People driving around at that time during the week in this area are either elderly or stay at home parents, and the occasional high school or college student.
J and I cautiously pull into the parking lot of the tire shop and I breathe a sigh of relief, whoooh!
Go in, of course they don't have the tires I need on hand, they'd have to be ordered...which would mean more running/bike riding.............now first of all, our weather is heating up the rest of the week, second of all the soreness was stepping up a level, not to mention Squiggly would be joining in on the ride and as light as she is it would definitely not be good for her.
"How did I know you were going to say that?" "Let me call my husband and see what he wants to do"..
Turns out they had some there that were comparable to what he wanted. "We'll take them!".
J and I walk to the Dollar Store to waste some time. We come out spending
$8.00 on 2 Dora bowls, 3 boxes a character sandwich baggies, 1 box of snack baggies, a Diet Dr. Pepper for me, and a fire fighter hat for J. "Mama I need dat hat cause when I gow up I gonna be a fiwe fighter" "Okay, which one, the red one or yellow?" "mmmm, I like the wed one""Thank you Mama!".
We walk back to the tire shop and now that J has on his fire fighter hat he feels empowered to put his hand out to cars passing by "Top!! I'm a fiwe fighter!!" He was happy as can be with that hat!
We're just in time, tires on, trucks done, and now it's safe!!
We make it back home just in time to have lunch. By now I feel like I'm so sore I'm starting to walk funny, not good...
Time to go, back in the stroller, off to pick them up at school. I run partially again, feeling a little more energetic now that I ate. We get there and turn around to come back home. We take the bike path just because I don't have to worry about crossing streets or having the kids ride on the side of the street because people are walking on the sidewalk.
We get on the path, it's hot, the breeze is gone, and they just re-did the bike path with what looks like black tar...
Ugh, J is asleep, I am trying to run, I'm hot and tired, I even try to walk fast but I just felt like I wasn't walking fast enough.
Eventually we make it home, kids start their homework, I jump on the computer to get the paperwork needed to pass out at our soccer practice...
Get to practice, talk to the parents, pass out papers, keep an eye on the boys........
Get home, put dinner in the oven, get the kids in the shower, feed them, have them read and then to bed, start cleaning up the kitchen just enough so that the counters are cleaned off, make lunch for Daddy, and prepare the kids water bottles for the next day of school.......
Ugh, never ending, I take my sore self up the stairs to bed knowing there is still so much for me to do, paperwork needed for our boys soccer team, finishing cleaning up in the kitchen, toys that need to be picked up, clothes that need to folded that are in the dryer..............on and on and on.
The days over, time to rest, what isn't done today can be taken care of tomorrow.
Wednesday isn't any easier, Squiggly shows up with a cold so my attention is fully on her, dishes stay where they are, toys remain scattered around plus the new ones J has decided to take out, Mom Jr. starts dance after school...
Again night is here another busy day gone, everyone is finally asleep...................until tomorrow where we'll begin all over again.
Just a Mom............................
Monday, September 7, 2009
Run!!
That's how I started my Sunday late morning...after a late night of rockin' out playing Rock Band and Guitar Hero the kids were ready to go for a bike ride...
I thought well, since J can't ride a bike maybe I'll try to keep him home. Just as the thought was sounding really good here comes J, "Mama what we gonna do today?". "I ready to go play!". His cute little face with a big smile and of course he dressed himself the only way he is known for- backwards! Shirt backwards and shorts backwards. I knew right then my plan just fell apart. How could I keep him home? He asks all the time to go feed the duckies at the college.
Okay, suck it up lady!! Quit being lazy, (you know, like I'm laying around the house all day eating bon bons!) time to get myself in running mode, because you know that's what I'm doing as I push J and everything else I need to take for the kids.
So, after we all get ready to go, tires get tested and filled with air by Daddy, we are off!! Sunblock is put on everyone, i pod is playing, go!!!
We get to the college, it's perfect, sunny with a nice breeze, J is babbling but I am only listening to the music that is coming out of my ipod directly into my ears!
We run around the college campus, around the pond, over the bridges and then we make it to our usual spot that we stop at each time we go out on this family trip.
The kids get off their bikes, J gets out of the stroller, they pull out the frisbee and football. I sit on the bench with my water and keep an eye on my kiddies.
Oh, what a nice day, I sit and watch Jr. and D learn to throw the frisbee with their Dad, it reminds me of when it was just me and him, no kids, throwing the frisbee at the park next to the house we were renting....
I'd get up and go play but seeing as I just ran, I think I'll just sit and enjoy the breeze and watch for now.
My little J always thinking about his Mom, comes over and brings me a flower he picked. "Here Mama I picked this fo you" "I just love my Mama". Mom Jr. sits for a while "Mom aren't you hot sitting in the sun?" "No, there's such a nice breeze it doesn't feel hot".
Mom Jr., Jr., and D decide to get on their bikes and ride around where we are. They found this little hill to ride up and down on. They would ride down the hill and we could here "weeee!!". They thought it was the best thing. Daddy said "you could tell they don't get out often, I use to ride all over when I was little". Jr. came riding over (of course to his Dad, he loves to be with his Dad) "Dad, you have to come try this, we're riding down that hill, it's so fun!!!" "Go ahead, I've done it before, just watch out for people".
After we rested and of course had a snack (I know better than to leave the house with out granola bars or fruit, their favorite treat) we continued on...
We made our way to the pond with a bridge where we normally would feed the ducks. This time we noticed there was a sign saying not to feed the ducks. Here I brought a lot of bread and now we couldn't do it. J was so disappointed, that's his favorite thing to do. Instead we went to the middle of the bridge and watched the ducks, saw tad poles, and turtles.
By now I'm ready to get home, it's getting warm, I ran a lot already and still had to make it home with a sad J.
Daddy and the other 3 rode around to see the new sports area they made while J and I made our way out of the campus. J and I start to cross the street which is a big street divided by an island. We are on the island as the kids and Daddy are waiting to cross. They're standing there, and I'm wondering why they haven't crossed...of course I don't know what they are saying because I have my ipod on. I take one out "what are you doing? there's no cars" "Is that a police car over there?" "what?" "the kids and I will go around, we don't want to get a ticket". Great, I'm in the middle I have no choice but to continue...
So I cross and then yes, I was tired, but now I'm starting to panic "was that a policeman? Is he coming this way? Did he see me? Run!! Run home!"
Yes, I was tired, but I sprinted home, nothing like a good scare to make me move!!
I make it home, the kids and Daddy get home, I take a shower, make lunch and then rest.
Wow, my skin feels warm, I look in the mirror, and um, yes, I made sure everyone had sunblock on but um, forgot about me...
Lovely not only do I feel like a tomato now I match it!! Lucky for the good skin that I have thanks to my heritage it now has turned brown....works for me!!
Legs are a bit tight, a little sore, arms too from trying to turn the jogging stroller.
The boys and their Dad watched Rambo 3. Such a boy/dad bonding moment, you can just see the glow their Dad has as he sits, watches and completely enjoys the bonding experience between him and his boys......
Mom Jr. and I went to our rooms, watched our own fun movies as we had snacks and J, he and his "friends" enjoyed their shows. We all relaxed the rest of the afternoon away..
It was a great Sunday..........................
Just a Mom enjoying the little things with her family..........................
I thought well, since J can't ride a bike maybe I'll try to keep him home. Just as the thought was sounding really good here comes J, "Mama what we gonna do today?". "I ready to go play!". His cute little face with a big smile and of course he dressed himself the only way he is known for- backwards! Shirt backwards and shorts backwards. I knew right then my plan just fell apart. How could I keep him home? He asks all the time to go feed the duckies at the college.
Okay, suck it up lady!! Quit being lazy, (you know, like I'm laying around the house all day eating bon bons!) time to get myself in running mode, because you know that's what I'm doing as I push J and everything else I need to take for the kids.
So, after we all get ready to go, tires get tested and filled with air by Daddy, we are off!! Sunblock is put on everyone, i pod is playing, go!!!
We get to the college, it's perfect, sunny with a nice breeze, J is babbling but I am only listening to the music that is coming out of my ipod directly into my ears!
We run around the college campus, around the pond, over the bridges and then we make it to our usual spot that we stop at each time we go out on this family trip.
The kids get off their bikes, J gets out of the stroller, they pull out the frisbee and football. I sit on the bench with my water and keep an eye on my kiddies.
Oh, what a nice day, I sit and watch Jr. and D learn to throw the frisbee with their Dad, it reminds me of when it was just me and him, no kids, throwing the frisbee at the park next to the house we were renting....
I'd get up and go play but seeing as I just ran, I think I'll just sit and enjoy the breeze and watch for now.
My little J always thinking about his Mom, comes over and brings me a flower he picked. "Here Mama I picked this fo you" "I just love my Mama". Mom Jr. sits for a while "Mom aren't you hot sitting in the sun?" "No, there's such a nice breeze it doesn't feel hot".
Mom Jr., Jr., and D decide to get on their bikes and ride around where we are. They found this little hill to ride up and down on. They would ride down the hill and we could here "weeee!!". They thought it was the best thing. Daddy said "you could tell they don't get out often, I use to ride all over when I was little". Jr. came riding over (of course to his Dad, he loves to be with his Dad) "Dad, you have to come try this, we're riding down that hill, it's so fun!!!" "Go ahead, I've done it before, just watch out for people".
After we rested and of course had a snack (I know better than to leave the house with out granola bars or fruit, their favorite treat) we continued on...
We made our way to the pond with a bridge where we normally would feed the ducks. This time we noticed there was a sign saying not to feed the ducks. Here I brought a lot of bread and now we couldn't do it. J was so disappointed, that's his favorite thing to do. Instead we went to the middle of the bridge and watched the ducks, saw tad poles, and turtles.
By now I'm ready to get home, it's getting warm, I ran a lot already and still had to make it home with a sad J.
Daddy and the other 3 rode around to see the new sports area they made while J and I made our way out of the campus. J and I start to cross the street which is a big street divided by an island. We are on the island as the kids and Daddy are waiting to cross. They're standing there, and I'm wondering why they haven't crossed...of course I don't know what they are saying because I have my ipod on. I take one out "what are you doing? there's no cars" "Is that a police car over there?" "what?" "the kids and I will go around, we don't want to get a ticket". Great, I'm in the middle I have no choice but to continue...
So I cross and then yes, I was tired, but now I'm starting to panic "was that a policeman? Is he coming this way? Did he see me? Run!! Run home!"
Yes, I was tired, but I sprinted home, nothing like a good scare to make me move!!
I make it home, the kids and Daddy get home, I take a shower, make lunch and then rest.
Wow, my skin feels warm, I look in the mirror, and um, yes, I made sure everyone had sunblock on but um, forgot about me...
Lovely not only do I feel like a tomato now I match it!! Lucky for the good skin that I have thanks to my heritage it now has turned brown....works for me!!
Legs are a bit tight, a little sore, arms too from trying to turn the jogging stroller.
The boys and their Dad watched Rambo 3. Such a boy/dad bonding moment, you can just see the glow their Dad has as he sits, watches and completely enjoys the bonding experience between him and his boys......
Mom Jr. and I went to our rooms, watched our own fun movies as we had snacks and J, he and his "friends" enjoyed their shows. We all relaxed the rest of the afternoon away..
It was a great Sunday..........................
Just a Mom enjoying the little things with her family..........................
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Saturday, Saturday...
Brain, remember that....don't wake up, sleep, sleep, sleep......no one is off to school, no one is on their way to be taken care of....no one is going to work.....SLEEP!!!!
Aaah, forget it, go ahead get up, can't sleep, it's 6:00 in the morning, everyone else is still asleep, might as well get up, make coffee, start the never ending laundry, and at least sit and watch the morning news or whatever is usually on at that time during the weekend...
Funny how the day that I can actually sleep in I just can't. Any other day of the week where I have no choice but to get up I could totally lay there and fall back to sleep......
So I get up and take it as a sign of getting a lot done early so that I have that much more time to spend with the kids and hubby or in my room reading or watching my type of movies.
Slowly the others make their way downstairs. Eventually the boys ask to get cereal (yes, I don't have to make a big weekend breakfast!!! Well at least not today). Daddy comes down with a big smile "5 pounds down...". "Wow! That's great!!". Huh, now I can totally relate with that commercial, here we go, the husband starts to lose weight and here I am the wife still staying the same.............................SUCKS!!! TOTALLY SUCKS!!! But being the wife, mother, and person that I am I will be happy for him that he lost 5 pounds in the first week even after having ice cream (which I didn't).
Huh, that's it, I guess I just have to run everywhere I go.............
Yeah, right like that's going to happen!!! It's okay, I'll get there. Mom Jr. is doing a time line of her life at the ripe age of 10. We are going through pictures and she see's pictures of me before I had kids even pictures of me when she was in pre-school. "Wow, Mom look how skinny you were!?!" "Yes, I know, and I'm trying".
Now that Mom Jr. is noticing the difference in my weight I really need to do something...I'm trying, maybe not hard enough, maybe I just need to stay up in the morning after my husband leaves for work and do my workout then........
I don't I'll figure it out!!!
I got my shopping done for the labor day weekend, Mom Jr. and D went with me. We shopped for food items to eat during our 3 day weekend, and then stopped at the movie store. They each chose a movie and then we left.
Daddy worked in the backyard, J brought out his lawn mower and mowed the yard after Daddy finished. Mom Jr. and I prepared the shish kabobs and corn to grill and then Daddy played catch with a football with all of them.
It was great, lots of smiles, laughs, and just let any worries we all felt fall on the side.
This weekend is suppose to be the last weekend of summer although it's suppose to heat up again next week. Either way we, as a family plan to enjoy what might actually be Daddy's last holiday from work until it closes to the fullest!!
Our hearts our deep with worry but we are choosing not to let that stop us from enjoying the here ad now.
As a family we are enjoying what we have, what we are experiencing together and making the best of it all!!!
Just a Mom completely enjoying her family for exactly what it is......full of life, love, and laughter!!! Praying every other family has the same...........
Aaah, forget it, go ahead get up, can't sleep, it's 6:00 in the morning, everyone else is still asleep, might as well get up, make coffee, start the never ending laundry, and at least sit and watch the morning news or whatever is usually on at that time during the weekend...
Funny how the day that I can actually sleep in I just can't. Any other day of the week where I have no choice but to get up I could totally lay there and fall back to sleep......
So I get up and take it as a sign of getting a lot done early so that I have that much more time to spend with the kids and hubby or in my room reading or watching my type of movies.
Slowly the others make their way downstairs. Eventually the boys ask to get cereal (yes, I don't have to make a big weekend breakfast!!! Well at least not today). Daddy comes down with a big smile "5 pounds down...". "Wow! That's great!!". Huh, now I can totally relate with that commercial, here we go, the husband starts to lose weight and here I am the wife still staying the same.............................SUCKS!!! TOTALLY SUCKS!!! But being the wife, mother, and person that I am I will be happy for him that he lost 5 pounds in the first week even after having ice cream (which I didn't).
Huh, that's it, I guess I just have to run everywhere I go.............
Yeah, right like that's going to happen!!! It's okay, I'll get there. Mom Jr. is doing a time line of her life at the ripe age of 10. We are going through pictures and she see's pictures of me before I had kids even pictures of me when she was in pre-school. "Wow, Mom look how skinny you were!?!" "Yes, I know, and I'm trying".
Now that Mom Jr. is noticing the difference in my weight I really need to do something...I'm trying, maybe not hard enough, maybe I just need to stay up in the morning after my husband leaves for work and do my workout then........
I don't I'll figure it out!!!
I got my shopping done for the labor day weekend, Mom Jr. and D went with me. We shopped for food items to eat during our 3 day weekend, and then stopped at the movie store. They each chose a movie and then we left.
Daddy worked in the backyard, J brought out his lawn mower and mowed the yard after Daddy finished. Mom Jr. and I prepared the shish kabobs and corn to grill and then Daddy played catch with a football with all of them.
It was great, lots of smiles, laughs, and just let any worries we all felt fall on the side.
This weekend is suppose to be the last weekend of summer although it's suppose to heat up again next week. Either way we, as a family plan to enjoy what might actually be Daddy's last holiday from work until it closes to the fullest!!
Our hearts our deep with worry but we are choosing not to let that stop us from enjoying the here ad now.
As a family we are enjoying what we have, what we are experiencing together and making the best of it all!!!
Just a Mom completely enjoying her family for exactly what it is......full of life, love, and laughter!!! Praying every other family has the same...........
Friday, September 4, 2009
Wait, What's Today???
FRIDAY.....wow!!! Where have I been?? Hmmm, no, I wasn't sleeping (yeah right!!), on vacation?, nope, I sure don't think it was that!, relaxing? (ha, ha, ha, ha, sorry that was definitely too funny!!)
Oh, yes, now I remember!!! Kids, that's right kids, school, shopping, cleaning, soccer practice.... never mind J, he himself is enough to fill the week alone!!!
These past three days that I have been missing from my blog have been like a blur, can't wait to see how next week goes with dance starting back up.
We are in the process of getting ready for our first soccer games which will begin next weekend. At this point I am getting out the schedules to our teams, trying to get our uniforms in time to get our kids names put on their jerseys.....Practices are in full swing now, kids are excited, looking forward to their first games!!!
Meanwhile on the home front I'm continuously behind as always, are we ever caught up??? Just when I think "okay, got all the laundry done, now to put it away, oh wait, I have to leave or I have to go take care of that. It never ends, it brings the daydreams of when all I had to worry about was myself....
So now that my husbands job seems to have a closing date in the near future I am making sure to get my kids seen by their dentist and doctor. Here I am running to pick them up, take them to their dentist appointment, I was lucky enough to get all four seen at the same time.
Make it back home just in time for them to get homework done, I had already prepared dinner during the day, done (of course) some laundry, and now was getting their water bottles ready for soccer practice as I am going to drive off to pick up uniforms.
I meet them at the field and Mom Jr. is just about to play with the boys team for some extra practice. She is in position and I'm sure she's feeling a little shy just because she is the only girl playing. The ball comes to her, she misses kicking it as it slowly rolls out of bounds. I say out loud "You have to run a little faster, you could've totally stopped the ball". And in return she says "Be quiet". WAIT?!?!? WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY TO ME????
"What?!" I said as other parents are there and can hear her, which I must say she has NEVER said that to me...
Then, Daddy, the coach looks at me and says "what did she say", I told him, he looked at her and told her "your done, off the field".
She comes walking over looking more embarrassed than anything else and just sits down..
Her friend comes over and says "you're done playing?" she tells her "I'm sweaty". I interrupted "no, that's not why she's out, it's because she got in trouble".
The game ends I leave with D and J.
By the way, for that comment from Mom Jr. she did get grounded for 2 weeks, hopefully she'll understand that is definitely unacceptable!!!!
I come home and actually get to talk to my Mom who has been gone for too long (okay, really only a little over 2 weeks, but a lot has happened in those 2 weeks that normally I would've turned to her to talk to). It was like taking a deep cleansing breath when I heard her voice and her words actually coming out of her mouth rather than seeing them typed in a text message. It just really makes me realize just how important my Mom is to me and how grateful I am for having her as my Mom.
Daddy had today off, which kind of threw me off schedule. I missed my sleep interruption at 3:00 in the morning....aahhhh, just to be able to sleep. I kind of woke up and thought "it's Saturday, I don't have to get up, everyone's asleep", hmmmmm.
WAIT!!!! It's not Saturday, it 's FRIDAY, Squiggly is on her way, I still have to make breakfast, lunch, coffee, sign homework....GET UP!!!
Made my way downstairs, opened the windows to let in any type of cool air, which wasn't much.
Got busy, got everyone fed, made lunches, Squiggly showed, gave her breakfast, Daddy took the kids to school. I thought okay, now I'll have my coffee while it's actually still hot...uh-oh@! I forgot to give Jr. his cough medicine. Well, put J and Squiggly in their car seats and met Daddy at school so that Jr. can have his medicine.
Still didn't get my shower, came home, put Dora on, Squiggly was in her excersaucer, started laundry, cleaning up, oh and got some coffee but of course had to have iced coffee because it was no where near hot by now.
That's exactly how the day went, one thing after another, cleaning, feeding, napping, schedules....
Now, it's over, the day is finally done......the week is over, it really felt like a blur as fast as it went.
I am completely looking forward to a 3 day weekend, glad my Sister is back, can't wait for my Mom to return!!!
Just a Mom.............................
Oh, yes, now I remember!!! Kids, that's right kids, school, shopping, cleaning, soccer practice.... never mind J, he himself is enough to fill the week alone!!!
These past three days that I have been missing from my blog have been like a blur, can't wait to see how next week goes with dance starting back up.
We are in the process of getting ready for our first soccer games which will begin next weekend. At this point I am getting out the schedules to our teams, trying to get our uniforms in time to get our kids names put on their jerseys.....Practices are in full swing now, kids are excited, looking forward to their first games!!!
Meanwhile on the home front I'm continuously behind as always, are we ever caught up??? Just when I think "okay, got all the laundry done, now to put it away, oh wait, I have to leave or I have to go take care of that. It never ends, it brings the daydreams of when all I had to worry about was myself....
So now that my husbands job seems to have a closing date in the near future I am making sure to get my kids seen by their dentist and doctor. Here I am running to pick them up, take them to their dentist appointment, I was lucky enough to get all four seen at the same time.
Make it back home just in time for them to get homework done, I had already prepared dinner during the day, done (of course) some laundry, and now was getting their water bottles ready for soccer practice as I am going to drive off to pick up uniforms.
I meet them at the field and Mom Jr. is just about to play with the boys team for some extra practice. She is in position and I'm sure she's feeling a little shy just because she is the only girl playing. The ball comes to her, she misses kicking it as it slowly rolls out of bounds. I say out loud "You have to run a little faster, you could've totally stopped the ball". And in return she says "Be quiet". WAIT?!?!? WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY TO ME????
"What?!" I said as other parents are there and can hear her, which I must say she has NEVER said that to me...
Then, Daddy, the coach looks at me and says "what did she say", I told him, he looked at her and told her "your done, off the field".
She comes walking over looking more embarrassed than anything else and just sits down..
Her friend comes over and says "you're done playing?" she tells her "I'm sweaty". I interrupted "no, that's not why she's out, it's because she got in trouble".
The game ends I leave with D and J.
By the way, for that comment from Mom Jr. she did get grounded for 2 weeks, hopefully she'll understand that is definitely unacceptable!!!!
I come home and actually get to talk to my Mom who has been gone for too long (okay, really only a little over 2 weeks, but a lot has happened in those 2 weeks that normally I would've turned to her to talk to). It was like taking a deep cleansing breath when I heard her voice and her words actually coming out of her mouth rather than seeing them typed in a text message. It just really makes me realize just how important my Mom is to me and how grateful I am for having her as my Mom.
Daddy had today off, which kind of threw me off schedule. I missed my sleep interruption at 3:00 in the morning....aahhhh, just to be able to sleep. I kind of woke up and thought "it's Saturday, I don't have to get up, everyone's asleep", hmmmmm.
WAIT!!!! It's not Saturday, it 's FRIDAY, Squiggly is on her way, I still have to make breakfast, lunch, coffee, sign homework....GET UP!!!
Made my way downstairs, opened the windows to let in any type of cool air, which wasn't much.
Got busy, got everyone fed, made lunches, Squiggly showed, gave her breakfast, Daddy took the kids to school. I thought okay, now I'll have my coffee while it's actually still hot...uh-oh@! I forgot to give Jr. his cough medicine. Well, put J and Squiggly in their car seats and met Daddy at school so that Jr. can have his medicine.
Still didn't get my shower, came home, put Dora on, Squiggly was in her excersaucer, started laundry, cleaning up, oh and got some coffee but of course had to have iced coffee because it was no where near hot by now.
That's exactly how the day went, one thing after another, cleaning, feeding, napping, schedules....
Now, it's over, the day is finally done......the week is over, it really felt like a blur as fast as it went.
I am completely looking forward to a 3 day weekend, glad my Sister is back, can't wait for my Mom to return!!!
Just a Mom.............................
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Tuesday, Snooze-day
not for me! You know sometimes it's hard to get back to sleep once I've gotten up to walk my Husband out at 3:30 in the morning...much like this morning, there goes my mind, hmm, what should I make for dinner today (I know, I know it's not even breakfast and I'm already wondering about dinner, I'm telling you it's all about having a plan for me!). I already knew what I was making the kids for lunch for school, see that's all planned out ahead of time, before the week even begins I already know what they are going to have everyday. Breakfast, that too has a certain menu each school day, hey that's the only way to go, no wondering, no deciding, it's all done, what they don't have today, they might have tomorrow so again no complaints here!!
Okay mind, take a break, go to sleep for at least 3 to 3 1/2 hours...well, after the tossing and turning and trying hard not to think I finally dose off, what time? who knows, all I do know is that I was sleeping, even dreaming (aaahh, finally nice and comfy). Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep!! Wait, what, what's that noise?!?! No, she didn't!! Ms. Mom Jr. set her alarm!!! Well, I'm not getting up, Squiggly isn't coming today I still have 30 more minutes......well now, wouldn't you know I CAN'T FALL BACK TO SLEEP!!!! Fine, I'll get up and sit on the couch drinking my luke warm coffee. As I pass Ms. Mom Jr.'s room where is she? Huh, she's cuddled up on her bed fast asleep...
I drag myself down the stairs, turn off the outside lights, both front and back, open some windows, grab a coffee cup, pour, make my way to the couch and turn on the T.V.
There I sit trying to focus, ah, who cares, I can hear what they're saying, all I'm interested in is the weather because I know that's going to be the question of the morning..........
Soon here they come, one by one, trickling down the stairs, up from their beds, now laying on the recliners watching T.V. until I get out what they're having for breakfast.
Oh, well, what do you know, gliding down the stairs is Ms. Mom Jr. making her way into the kitchen to see what I'm making for them...."oh, my alarm went off this morning, I just turned it off and went back to sleep" "really? hmmm, oh, you know I think I heard it? Oh, yup, that's right, I did and well, I couldn't go back to sleep, thanks" "hee-hee-hee""I could understand if you had some homework to catch up on or if you wanted to take a morning shower but otherwise why do you set it? If I were you I'd get as much sleep as possible, you are going to need it!"
Anyway, we go about our day, take them to school, J and I come home, I make my list and head out to the stores which I must say I am so proud of myself!! Because of the different stores (3 to be exact) I go to I couldn't believe how much I saved!! Yahoo!!! and no, I didn't go to any discount stores or stores that took things the grocery stores couldn't sell because they were almost expired or their packaging was damaged (not to say anything is wrong with any of those stores as was shown on Good Morning America).
J and I made our way home, put everything away, cleaned up a little, mowed the front yard, and made my way into the house to do a little more cleaning before I had to pick up the kids. I stopped at my computer because I was waiting for a message from my Sister and Mom who have been out of town (which I must say I'm going through withdrawals from not seeing or talking to them, yes my family is very close, thank God my Brother is still here!). Well, there she is my Sister, on line, I am chatting with her, finding out her flight, and then I get a phone call from my kids school. Uh-oh, is what goes through my mind, I don't like getting calls from school, I've had a bad call when Mom Jr. broke her arm in 1st grade and I've had accident calls when someone just wasn't fast enough to make it to the bathroom, either way, I don't like them....
Turns out Jr. isn't feeling good, his throat is very sore, the nurse lets him talk to me and I ask him if he can just wait 50 more minutes, school will be out. He says okay, but when the nurse gets back on she tells me he has tears...Ugh, I have two other kids still in class besides I said I'd bring home one of Mom Jr.'s friends who is going to soccer practice with her.
Of course in the back of my mind I'm thinking, I hope he's not upset in class, I hope he doesn't get worse, I hope it's not that virus!!!
So, here I go, run out the door sweaty from cleaning, throw on a headband, grab some cough drops and we're on our way to the school. I get there 40 minutes before they're getting out, I'm there so early I can choose any parking spot I want (which is totally unusual). I decide to park as close as I can so that my sick boy won't have to walk so far. J and I make our way to his classroom, we open the door, and there's Jr. doing his work, looking fine. "Are you okay?" "yeah, I'm okay" "well, here's your cough drop" "thanks" "we'll be sitting outside in the hot heat for the next 30 minutes!". The things we do for our kids.....
We all get home, kids do their homework, have a snack, and they're off to soccer practice. Since I don't get to go because we want to make sure Jr. is well rested for school I continue on with cleaning. It's crazy, I got a lot done while they were gone and I got the boys to finish their homework and shower, got Daddy's lunch together, and the kids drinks for school.
Tuesday, definitely not a snooze day!! On a positive note, Jr. seems better. I must say I did stock up on travel size hand sanitizer which I have made it more than clear to the kids to use it all the time!!!
Just a Mom rolling along with the days events!!!!
Okay mind, take a break, go to sleep for at least 3 to 3 1/2 hours...well, after the tossing and turning and trying hard not to think I finally dose off, what time? who knows, all I do know is that I was sleeping, even dreaming (aaahh, finally nice and comfy). Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep!! Wait, what, what's that noise?!?! No, she didn't!! Ms. Mom Jr. set her alarm!!! Well, I'm not getting up, Squiggly isn't coming today I still have 30 more minutes......well now, wouldn't you know I CAN'T FALL BACK TO SLEEP!!!! Fine, I'll get up and sit on the couch drinking my luke warm coffee. As I pass Ms. Mom Jr.'s room where is she? Huh, she's cuddled up on her bed fast asleep...
I drag myself down the stairs, turn off the outside lights, both front and back, open some windows, grab a coffee cup, pour, make my way to the couch and turn on the T.V.
There I sit trying to focus, ah, who cares, I can hear what they're saying, all I'm interested in is the weather because I know that's going to be the question of the morning..........
Soon here they come, one by one, trickling down the stairs, up from their beds, now laying on the recliners watching T.V. until I get out what they're having for breakfast.
Oh, well, what do you know, gliding down the stairs is Ms. Mom Jr. making her way into the kitchen to see what I'm making for them...."oh, my alarm went off this morning, I just turned it off and went back to sleep" "really? hmmm, oh, you know I think I heard it? Oh, yup, that's right, I did and well, I couldn't go back to sleep, thanks" "hee-hee-hee""I could understand if you had some homework to catch up on or if you wanted to take a morning shower but otherwise why do you set it? If I were you I'd get as much sleep as possible, you are going to need it!"
Anyway, we go about our day, take them to school, J and I come home, I make my list and head out to the stores which I must say I am so proud of myself!! Because of the different stores (3 to be exact) I go to I couldn't believe how much I saved!! Yahoo!!! and no, I didn't go to any discount stores or stores that took things the grocery stores couldn't sell because they were almost expired or their packaging was damaged (not to say anything is wrong with any of those stores as was shown on Good Morning America).
J and I made our way home, put everything away, cleaned up a little, mowed the front yard, and made my way into the house to do a little more cleaning before I had to pick up the kids. I stopped at my computer because I was waiting for a message from my Sister and Mom who have been out of town (which I must say I'm going through withdrawals from not seeing or talking to them, yes my family is very close, thank God my Brother is still here!). Well, there she is my Sister, on line, I am chatting with her, finding out her flight, and then I get a phone call from my kids school. Uh-oh, is what goes through my mind, I don't like getting calls from school, I've had a bad call when Mom Jr. broke her arm in 1st grade and I've had accident calls when someone just wasn't fast enough to make it to the bathroom, either way, I don't like them....
Turns out Jr. isn't feeling good, his throat is very sore, the nurse lets him talk to me and I ask him if he can just wait 50 more minutes, school will be out. He says okay, but when the nurse gets back on she tells me he has tears...Ugh, I have two other kids still in class besides I said I'd bring home one of Mom Jr.'s friends who is going to soccer practice with her.
Of course in the back of my mind I'm thinking, I hope he's not upset in class, I hope he doesn't get worse, I hope it's not that virus!!!
So, here I go, run out the door sweaty from cleaning, throw on a headband, grab some cough drops and we're on our way to the school. I get there 40 minutes before they're getting out, I'm there so early I can choose any parking spot I want (which is totally unusual). I decide to park as close as I can so that my sick boy won't have to walk so far. J and I make our way to his classroom, we open the door, and there's Jr. doing his work, looking fine. "Are you okay?" "yeah, I'm okay" "well, here's your cough drop" "thanks" "we'll be sitting outside in the hot heat for the next 30 minutes!". The things we do for our kids.....
We all get home, kids do their homework, have a snack, and they're off to soccer practice. Since I don't get to go because we want to make sure Jr. is well rested for school I continue on with cleaning. It's crazy, I got a lot done while they were gone and I got the boys to finish their homework and shower, got Daddy's lunch together, and the kids drinks for school.
Tuesday, definitely not a snooze day!! On a positive note, Jr. seems better. I must say I did stock up on travel size hand sanitizer which I have made it more than clear to the kids to use it all the time!!!
Just a Mom rolling along with the days events!!!!
Monday, August 31, 2009
What?
Yes, it's Monday, the day everything was to begin. Kids went off to school, J, Squiggly, and I came home I put Squiggly in her excersaucer and jumped on the treadmill. Now I said I was going to start exercising which I did, I started over the weekend.
As soon as I got into my running mode I can see Squiggly starting to get fussy. I've only done 2 laps. Now I remember why I didn't like to run when my kids were that little. They are so unpredictable, you think they're going to be okay, they've been fed, diaper changed, and are happy when you put them with their toys until............................you move away.
Well, there goes that, I get off, turn off the treadmill, close the window, and close the door behind me. Once I take her out she's just fine, figures. I can't go off and clean up the kitchen or pick up the front room especially now that Squiggly just wants to explore, so I sit with her, watch her play, and just pick up whatever I can in the room that we're in.
Finally I get her down for a nap but of course now that she's sleeping I don't want to make noise that might wake her up and you know there's nothing worse than a baby waking up when they aren't ready to.
Squiggly sleeps long enough for me to at least get lunch for both J and I, we ate and then I cleaned up a little quietly until she woke up.
Happy, happy, Squiggly is what she was, fed her lunch, let her play and off we go to pick up the kids from school. We do our usual, meet up with a friend who usually walks the same way we do to our cars. Jr. and J run off way in front of us to get to the car first and as usual Jr. gets to the car first, J screams his head off because he wants to be first and Jr. just looks towards me smiling. Same story different school day even though I've told him over and over again "don't make him scream, let him get their first once in a while".
Well, I can still hear J screaming and now I see Jr. jumping up and down on something. I get over there and Jr. tells me "Mom, J was stepping right there and a bunch of red ants started crawling up his legs and biting him so I knocked them off".
Um, didn't we just have a lesson about the ants the other day? You would think J would've remembered the sting he felt when they bit him the first time...Oh, and now that I look I see what Jr. was doing, he was jumping up and down on the ants which only bothered them even more so now I can't open the car door to put Squiggly in because then the ants would crawl on me!!
I now tell Jr. and J they are no longer allowed to run off to the car because of all the drama it causes every day they do it. We come home Mom Jr. gets right on her homework because she goes back to full dance mode this week and today starts it off.
She does part of her homework and figures she'll have time to finish the rest when she gets home. I put her hair in a bun for ballet. Daddy gets home and jumps on the treadmill so Squiggly and I take Mom Jr. to dance. We pull up and I tell her "I'll walk you in" "You don't have to Mom besides Squiggly fell asleep" "Well, that's okay I can just carry her in and what about your skirt, who's going to help you tie it in the back?" "You can just help me right here" "alright".
I help Mom Jr. with her skirt and she goes in the door, back in my car, I drive off to get home before Squigglys Mom gets there.
After Squiggly leaves I clean up the kitchen and decide to leave to go watch the last half of Mom Jr.'s ballet class. I get there and she is just walking out the door with a friend and her Mom. "What? you're already done?" her eyes start getting watery as she's trying to laugh instead of cry. Her friends Mom said there was no dance. "what?" "why didn't you call me?" "I don't know, there was no phone" "you could've went next door and asked to borrow theres". Ugh, this girl sat there for an hour and a half instead of just going next door and asking for a phone, it wasn't like she had to walk outside these two places are inside the same area just down the hall from each other. I felt so bad for her, silly girl, I know she wanted to cry but because her friend was there she didn't.
I know this would've been one reason she would've said she needs a cell phone. Some kids in her grade have cell phones, I'm sorry first of all I don't need an extra bill, second of all, I personally think there is no reason for them to have one. What's the reason to have one when you're in elementary school, you don't go off anywhere by yourself, who are you going to call? and when, in between math and reading or how about recess? Even after school, all your friends are there with you and if your parents aren't picking you up, they're working.........I don't know, I don't get it, even as busy as my daughter is, yes, it would've been nice if she would've had one for this one time but on the other hand she should've known when dance really started (or I should've).
Well, another lesson learned, make sure we know our dates!!!!
Just a Mom glad to know we have one more dance free week!!!!
As soon as I got into my running mode I can see Squiggly starting to get fussy. I've only done 2 laps. Now I remember why I didn't like to run when my kids were that little. They are so unpredictable, you think they're going to be okay, they've been fed, diaper changed, and are happy when you put them with their toys until............................you move away.
Well, there goes that, I get off, turn off the treadmill, close the window, and close the door behind me. Once I take her out she's just fine, figures. I can't go off and clean up the kitchen or pick up the front room especially now that Squiggly just wants to explore, so I sit with her, watch her play, and just pick up whatever I can in the room that we're in.
Finally I get her down for a nap but of course now that she's sleeping I don't want to make noise that might wake her up and you know there's nothing worse than a baby waking up when they aren't ready to.
Squiggly sleeps long enough for me to at least get lunch for both J and I, we ate and then I cleaned up a little quietly until she woke up.
Happy, happy, Squiggly is what she was, fed her lunch, let her play and off we go to pick up the kids from school. We do our usual, meet up with a friend who usually walks the same way we do to our cars. Jr. and J run off way in front of us to get to the car first and as usual Jr. gets to the car first, J screams his head off because he wants to be first and Jr. just looks towards me smiling. Same story different school day even though I've told him over and over again "don't make him scream, let him get their first once in a while".
Well, I can still hear J screaming and now I see Jr. jumping up and down on something. I get over there and Jr. tells me "Mom, J was stepping right there and a bunch of red ants started crawling up his legs and biting him so I knocked them off".
Um, didn't we just have a lesson about the ants the other day? You would think J would've remembered the sting he felt when they bit him the first time...Oh, and now that I look I see what Jr. was doing, he was jumping up and down on the ants which only bothered them even more so now I can't open the car door to put Squiggly in because then the ants would crawl on me!!
I now tell Jr. and J they are no longer allowed to run off to the car because of all the drama it causes every day they do it. We come home Mom Jr. gets right on her homework because she goes back to full dance mode this week and today starts it off.
She does part of her homework and figures she'll have time to finish the rest when she gets home. I put her hair in a bun for ballet. Daddy gets home and jumps on the treadmill so Squiggly and I take Mom Jr. to dance. We pull up and I tell her "I'll walk you in" "You don't have to Mom besides Squiggly fell asleep" "Well, that's okay I can just carry her in and what about your skirt, who's going to help you tie it in the back?" "You can just help me right here" "alright".
I help Mom Jr. with her skirt and she goes in the door, back in my car, I drive off to get home before Squigglys Mom gets there.
After Squiggly leaves I clean up the kitchen and decide to leave to go watch the last half of Mom Jr.'s ballet class. I get there and she is just walking out the door with a friend and her Mom. "What? you're already done?" her eyes start getting watery as she's trying to laugh instead of cry. Her friends Mom said there was no dance. "what?" "why didn't you call me?" "I don't know, there was no phone" "you could've went next door and asked to borrow theres". Ugh, this girl sat there for an hour and a half instead of just going next door and asking for a phone, it wasn't like she had to walk outside these two places are inside the same area just down the hall from each other. I felt so bad for her, silly girl, I know she wanted to cry but because her friend was there she didn't.
I know this would've been one reason she would've said she needs a cell phone. Some kids in her grade have cell phones, I'm sorry first of all I don't need an extra bill, second of all, I personally think there is no reason for them to have one. What's the reason to have one when you're in elementary school, you don't go off anywhere by yourself, who are you going to call? and when, in between math and reading or how about recess? Even after school, all your friends are there with you and if your parents aren't picking you up, they're working.........I don't know, I don't get it, even as busy as my daughter is, yes, it would've been nice if she would've had one for this one time but on the other hand she should've known when dance really started (or I should've).
Well, another lesson learned, make sure we know our dates!!!!
Just a Mom glad to know we have one more dance free week!!!!
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Wash your hands!!!!
Our number one phrase these days....So who else out there is terrified of this flu virus sweeping the nation??? Especially with kids who love to touch everything they see, rub their nose with their hands, put their fingers in their mouth.....
I must say I send my kids to school with hand sanitizer in their backpacks and hand wipes in their lunch pails. I've told them "you clean your hands when you go out or come in from any breaks, recess, or lunch". When they get in the car from being picked up I have wipes sitting in one of the cup holders in the back where they are, they each get one and clean their hands.
Usually it's just me getting on them about their hands, now their Dad has joined me.
This morning we all went to Costco and as we're going down an aisle Jr. has his finger sliding across the items as we're walking. "No touching!" And of course as usual there are the testers out which of course they all have to get some. Daddy is putting water in the cart and he sees Jr. playing with 2 toothpicks by the garbage "throw them away!".
At least J is in the cart where he really can't touch anything, well, except for the cart itself!
We make it home, put the stuff away and head out one more time to pick up Mom Jr. from her friends, stop at my Mom's, and then to the video store. Again you hear the comments "Stop touching, come here, J no running, hands off your face!!".
Come home and of course they're starving even after the smoothie they got at the store and eating the testers.
They come in the kitchen to get their lunch that I have put out. "Did you wash your hands?" D looks at me with his big brown eyes..."Did you wash your hands?" Jr. takes off to the bathroom and J is still just staring at me, "DID YOU WASH YOUR HANDS?!?!?"
He mumbles something then Daddy tells him "Go wash your hands right now?!" "What have I been preaching all day to you all?" Mom Jr. just stands there with her hip out to the side and a look on her face like she's tired of hearing it all. I tell her "stand right!" "Well, I already know this, I've heard it before" "And you'll hear it again until you do it!"
Ugh, all we want to do is protect them as much as we can, ultimately knowing they are going to be exposed to whatever other kids and people have when they're at school or anywhere else. We've tried talking to them about the virus, they've heard about it at school and still they just don't see how serious it can be. So Daddy tried the blunt truth, "A girl just died, one day she had what seemed to be a stomach flu and by the next morning she was dead".
Hmm, we can only hope they will use the items we've given to them when we're not around...
Just a Mom hoping they got it, understood it, and will do it................CLEAN YOUR HANDS!!!!
I must say I send my kids to school with hand sanitizer in their backpacks and hand wipes in their lunch pails. I've told them "you clean your hands when you go out or come in from any breaks, recess, or lunch". When they get in the car from being picked up I have wipes sitting in one of the cup holders in the back where they are, they each get one and clean their hands.
Usually it's just me getting on them about their hands, now their Dad has joined me.
This morning we all went to Costco and as we're going down an aisle Jr. has his finger sliding across the items as we're walking. "No touching!" And of course as usual there are the testers out which of course they all have to get some. Daddy is putting water in the cart and he sees Jr. playing with 2 toothpicks by the garbage "throw them away!".
At least J is in the cart where he really can't touch anything, well, except for the cart itself!
We make it home, put the stuff away and head out one more time to pick up Mom Jr. from her friends, stop at my Mom's, and then to the video store. Again you hear the comments "Stop touching, come here, J no running, hands off your face!!".
Come home and of course they're starving even after the smoothie they got at the store and eating the testers.
They come in the kitchen to get their lunch that I have put out. "Did you wash your hands?" D looks at me with his big brown eyes..."Did you wash your hands?" Jr. takes off to the bathroom and J is still just staring at me, "DID YOU WASH YOUR HANDS?!?!?"
He mumbles something then Daddy tells him "Go wash your hands right now?!" "What have I been preaching all day to you all?" Mom Jr. just stands there with her hip out to the side and a look on her face like she's tired of hearing it all. I tell her "stand right!" "Well, I already know this, I've heard it before" "And you'll hear it again until you do it!"
Ugh, all we want to do is protect them as much as we can, ultimately knowing they are going to be exposed to whatever other kids and people have when they're at school or anywhere else. We've tried talking to them about the virus, they've heard about it at school and still they just don't see how serious it can be. So Daddy tried the blunt truth, "A girl just died, one day she had what seemed to be a stomach flu and by the next morning she was dead".
Hmm, we can only hope they will use the items we've given to them when we're not around...
Just a Mom hoping they got it, understood it, and will do it................CLEAN YOUR HANDS!!!!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Friday, yes!!!!
So glad to see the end of this week!! Not that it changes anything but, it's over, it's been said, it's well known and now let this week lye at the end of this chapter in our lives and move on to a new one.
Don't get me wrong the helplessness feeling is still there, but now it's time to try and turn the fear into determination.
Determination to get things in order, get appointments set up and taken care of, start browsing for job opportunities for either one of us.
The kids are well aware of what is going on, do they really understand how serious this could eventually be? No and that's fine by me, they're children, for us our main concern for them is to do the very best in school, sports, and anything else they are in.
So, Mom Jr. ended up staying the night with one of her best friends, I let D choose any ice cream he wanted for dessert to have with Jr., J, and I'm sure Daddy. I want them to be happy, worry free and since they really don't get as much as most kids I will give them what I can now.
Nothing's better when you see them smile, it's like a special treat for them to have pizza, root beer, and then ice cream.
To make things just a little better, lighter, happier for them we are going to just enjoy a family weekend with barbecuing hamburgers and hot dogs, swimming in the pool and trying to let our worries and fears that are hanging heavily on our minds and hearts set aside. Let us smile and enjoy now!
We are just one family affected by the decision that was made to close the business, I'm sure there are plenty out there who feel just like we do.
Times are tough, let's just pray for a brighter future for all!!!
My little J, he must know he is the last of the bunch. This boy, always just blows my mind with the things he does. My other two boys never did the things he does. It's almost like starting all over again, like I'm new to this (and obviously I'm not!). J is my first child to have "friends" and what I mean by friends (which if you've read my previous entries you'll notice I use that phrase when it comes to him) is his imaginary friends from the shows he watches (Diego, Caillou, Dora, Boots, etc.). He'll ask me "Mama can my fiends come ova?" Sure. "otay, ding dong, they're here!". He runs around like he really has friends with him. J will play tag with his "friends"
"yo it!, ha, ha, ha, no yo, it! ha, ha,ha".
He always finds a way to make me just think "oh, yeah, no doubt in my mind you are it!" Yesterday I was going to take him on a walk in the jogging stroller, I stop to talk to a friend and we hear him start to cry, I think "oh, what did he do now?" He's standing there and then walks over to me quickly. I'm looking at him "what's wrong?" he starts stomping his feet, I look down at his legs and there are red ants crawling up his legs. I immediately start knocking them off of him (and I am totally not a bug person who would've ever think of touching any type at all). Standing above me as I'm kneeling on the grass is Mom Jr. who is giggling as he is crying from the bites he's getting from the ants. I continue to knock them off trying really hard to ignore her giggles. When I finally think I've got them off I stand up and tell her "that's not very nice, I've had a bad enough day, you better stop".
Now, that has never happened with my other 3. I think I experience more with J than I did with the others. Maybe it's because the other 3 are closer in age so they didn't really have an older sibling to learn from. All I know is J definitely makes every day for me a complete new one.
Mom Jr. still wishes for a baby sister, the other day she said "Come on Mom, why don't you have one more baby?" "No, sorry this is it!"
We are just a family going through a tough time as I'm sure there are a lot of families dealing with the same fate as ours...
Let's be thankful for our health, our strength that will ultimately prevail, our faith, our ultimate determination that will not let us just curl up and just give up. We are a family who will only grow stronger from the obstacles that are thrown in front of us.
One way or another we'll figure it out, we'll be standing tall in the end because we are a strong family who will never give up!!!
Just a Mom determined to secure her family no matter what it takes!!!
Don't get me wrong the helplessness feeling is still there, but now it's time to try and turn the fear into determination.
Determination to get things in order, get appointments set up and taken care of, start browsing for job opportunities for either one of us.
The kids are well aware of what is going on, do they really understand how serious this could eventually be? No and that's fine by me, they're children, for us our main concern for them is to do the very best in school, sports, and anything else they are in.
So, Mom Jr. ended up staying the night with one of her best friends, I let D choose any ice cream he wanted for dessert to have with Jr., J, and I'm sure Daddy. I want them to be happy, worry free and since they really don't get as much as most kids I will give them what I can now.
Nothing's better when you see them smile, it's like a special treat for them to have pizza, root beer, and then ice cream.
To make things just a little better, lighter, happier for them we are going to just enjoy a family weekend with barbecuing hamburgers and hot dogs, swimming in the pool and trying to let our worries and fears that are hanging heavily on our minds and hearts set aside. Let us smile and enjoy now!
We are just one family affected by the decision that was made to close the business, I'm sure there are plenty out there who feel just like we do.
Times are tough, let's just pray for a brighter future for all!!!
My little J, he must know he is the last of the bunch. This boy, always just blows my mind with the things he does. My other two boys never did the things he does. It's almost like starting all over again, like I'm new to this (and obviously I'm not!). J is my first child to have "friends" and what I mean by friends (which if you've read my previous entries you'll notice I use that phrase when it comes to him) is his imaginary friends from the shows he watches (Diego, Caillou, Dora, Boots, etc.). He'll ask me "Mama can my fiends come ova?" Sure. "otay, ding dong, they're here!". He runs around like he really has friends with him. J will play tag with his "friends"
"yo it!, ha, ha, ha, no yo, it! ha, ha,ha".
He always finds a way to make me just think "oh, yeah, no doubt in my mind you are it!" Yesterday I was going to take him on a walk in the jogging stroller, I stop to talk to a friend and we hear him start to cry, I think "oh, what did he do now?" He's standing there and then walks over to me quickly. I'm looking at him "what's wrong?" he starts stomping his feet, I look down at his legs and there are red ants crawling up his legs. I immediately start knocking them off of him (and I am totally not a bug person who would've ever think of touching any type at all). Standing above me as I'm kneeling on the grass is Mom Jr. who is giggling as he is crying from the bites he's getting from the ants. I continue to knock them off trying really hard to ignore her giggles. When I finally think I've got them off I stand up and tell her "that's not very nice, I've had a bad enough day, you better stop".
Now, that has never happened with my other 3. I think I experience more with J than I did with the others. Maybe it's because the other 3 are closer in age so they didn't really have an older sibling to learn from. All I know is J definitely makes every day for me a complete new one.
Mom Jr. still wishes for a baby sister, the other day she said "Come on Mom, why don't you have one more baby?" "No, sorry this is it!"
We are just a family going through a tough time as I'm sure there are a lot of families dealing with the same fate as ours...
Let's be thankful for our health, our strength that will ultimately prevail, our faith, our ultimate determination that will not let us just curl up and just give up. We are a family who will only grow stronger from the obstacles that are thrown in front of us.
One way or another we'll figure it out, we'll be standing tall in the end because we are a strong family who will never give up!!!
Just a Mom determined to secure her family no matter what it takes!!!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
One more time...
the only difference is this is the final time..I'm talking about my husbands job, we've had so many ups and downs. The roller coaster we have been on regarding the fate of his job has finally come to an end.
It was put out, plain and simple the company will close. Is it simple? Not really, on the business side of it I'm sure there's still a lot to be hammered out between the employees and the business. On the personal side, definitely not!
Okay, so we kind of knew what was coming, we were semi-prepared, so you would think when the actual words were said it wouldn't be so difficult...WRONG!
The thought, the rumors, the predictions are now reality. The personal part is obviously the hardest part.
So, there I saw it in black and white staring at me as I stared back and read the words one by one slowly so as to make sure there was no misunderstanding, this is it..................
I just sat there, numb, didn't feel like moving, couldn't think, just sat. J was playing and came up to me "Mama what we gonna do today?" Okay, snap out of it-"We have to go to Grandmas to water the plants", "Oh, Mama I good at dat, I do it too, K Mama" "Okay, you can water too". It was like he knew something was wrong. J put his shoes on, grabbed mine and brought them over to me "Here Mama, I got yo shoes fo you, let go".
Get up, I think to myself, go about your day, nothings going to change the words are there to stay they aren't going to change no matter how hard you stare at them....
Off we go to my Mom's house, we water, get the mail, lock up and make our way back home. I end up talking to Daddy who now has confirmed what I basically already know. He seems better about it than me. "Don't worry, we're a strong family, we'll be okay" he says "we have time to figure out what to do" "It could be a blessing in disguise","we'll find a way".
"Okay" is all I can say as tears are now rolling down my face. I try hard to keep him from hearing me getting upset. As we walk in the door J asks if he can play out back for a while. I tell him okay and there I find my way back to where I first began, at the desk, the computer in front of me as I sit hoping to see a message from my Mom who I first sent a message to. My Mom, she's the one I usually turn to, here I am a Mother myself, who is still looking for the comfort only a Mom can give....unfortunately, there is no response. I place my elbows on the desk, rest my head in my hands and just cry. Scared? Of course I am! There I sit releasing my fear, my feelings of helplessness. I hear J coming in, okay now stop, wipe your face, don't let him see you sad. J comes over to me "Mama what you doing? You on da computer?" "Yes, I'm getting off right now though so that I can start cleaning up" "Oh, otay Mama", "Mama, you make me lunch? I getting weally hungy!!" "okay, clean up your toys in here and I'll get your lunch" "Ooohh, Mama dat gonna take a looong time!" "that's okay you can do it".
Get his lunch and start cleaning up. I think to myself, just keep going. I continue to clean as tears continue to stream down my face. Well, I figure at least I'm getting stuff done.
I pick up the kids from school, bump into a friend, it's almost too hard to tell anyone what's going on. I feel just as bad telling them because you can tell they aren't sure what to say. Sorry, if there's anything we can do? When really there's nothing left to do... I don't like to put people in that position, I don't like being in that position.......
We come home, Daddy gets home, the kids are running around getting ready for soccer practice and ask Dad "Is your job closing down?" "yes" "oh".
Get to soccer practice, take J on a walk as Daddy coaches his team, cry a little more as I talk to people who already know what's going on from seeing it on the news. My main thing is just don't hug me, not trying to be mean but I would just crumble.
Came home a little early, started dinner, finally I get a response from my Mom, the one person I needed to hear from all day. "At least we know now and have time to prepare, when one door closes another opens, maybe it's Gods plan for him to find a job closer to home".
Text messages are definitely not the same as the phone!!
It's the end of one eye opening, heart crushing day. Point is time doesn't stop, the clock keeps ticking as the night will soon turn into morning. A new day will begin and we'll continue on our daily routine.
Our minds of course will be spinning on ideas and thoughts of what to do for the near future....
And all the positive sayings will continue to be said from friends and family trying to be positive for us as we are the ones in limbo. It'll be just what we need, where we are weak they will be strong for us.
Time will tell, our future shall be bright because there is just no room for darkness in a family with 4 young children who are depending on us to continue to nurture them, support them, protect them..........................
Just a Mom trying to find the strength with in myself to push me through the tears and fears of what the future holds for us...
It was put out, plain and simple the company will close. Is it simple? Not really, on the business side of it I'm sure there's still a lot to be hammered out between the employees and the business. On the personal side, definitely not!
Okay, so we kind of knew what was coming, we were semi-prepared, so you would think when the actual words were said it wouldn't be so difficult...WRONG!
The thought, the rumors, the predictions are now reality. The personal part is obviously the hardest part.
So, there I saw it in black and white staring at me as I stared back and read the words one by one slowly so as to make sure there was no misunderstanding, this is it..................
I just sat there, numb, didn't feel like moving, couldn't think, just sat. J was playing and came up to me "Mama what we gonna do today?" Okay, snap out of it-"We have to go to Grandmas to water the plants", "Oh, Mama I good at dat, I do it too, K Mama" "Okay, you can water too". It was like he knew something was wrong. J put his shoes on, grabbed mine and brought them over to me "Here Mama, I got yo shoes fo you, let go".
Get up, I think to myself, go about your day, nothings going to change the words are there to stay they aren't going to change no matter how hard you stare at them....
Off we go to my Mom's house, we water, get the mail, lock up and make our way back home. I end up talking to Daddy who now has confirmed what I basically already know. He seems better about it than me. "Don't worry, we're a strong family, we'll be okay" he says "we have time to figure out what to do" "It could be a blessing in disguise","we'll find a way".
"Okay" is all I can say as tears are now rolling down my face. I try hard to keep him from hearing me getting upset. As we walk in the door J asks if he can play out back for a while. I tell him okay and there I find my way back to where I first began, at the desk, the computer in front of me as I sit hoping to see a message from my Mom who I first sent a message to. My Mom, she's the one I usually turn to, here I am a Mother myself, who is still looking for the comfort only a Mom can give....unfortunately, there is no response. I place my elbows on the desk, rest my head in my hands and just cry. Scared? Of course I am! There I sit releasing my fear, my feelings of helplessness. I hear J coming in, okay now stop, wipe your face, don't let him see you sad. J comes over to me "Mama what you doing? You on da computer?" "Yes, I'm getting off right now though so that I can start cleaning up" "Oh, otay Mama", "Mama, you make me lunch? I getting weally hungy!!" "okay, clean up your toys in here and I'll get your lunch" "Ooohh, Mama dat gonna take a looong time!" "that's okay you can do it".
Get his lunch and start cleaning up. I think to myself, just keep going. I continue to clean as tears continue to stream down my face. Well, I figure at least I'm getting stuff done.
I pick up the kids from school, bump into a friend, it's almost too hard to tell anyone what's going on. I feel just as bad telling them because you can tell they aren't sure what to say. Sorry, if there's anything we can do? When really there's nothing left to do... I don't like to put people in that position, I don't like being in that position.......
We come home, Daddy gets home, the kids are running around getting ready for soccer practice and ask Dad "Is your job closing down?" "yes" "oh".
Get to soccer practice, take J on a walk as Daddy coaches his team, cry a little more as I talk to people who already know what's going on from seeing it on the news. My main thing is just don't hug me, not trying to be mean but I would just crumble.
Came home a little early, started dinner, finally I get a response from my Mom, the one person I needed to hear from all day. "At least we know now and have time to prepare, when one door closes another opens, maybe it's Gods plan for him to find a job closer to home".
Text messages are definitely not the same as the phone!!
It's the end of one eye opening, heart crushing day. Point is time doesn't stop, the clock keeps ticking as the night will soon turn into morning. A new day will begin and we'll continue on our daily routine.
Our minds of course will be spinning on ideas and thoughts of what to do for the near future....
And all the positive sayings will continue to be said from friends and family trying to be positive for us as we are the ones in limbo. It'll be just what we need, where we are weak they will be strong for us.
Time will tell, our future shall be bright because there is just no room for darkness in a family with 4 young children who are depending on us to continue to nurture them, support them, protect them..........................
Just a Mom trying to find the strength with in myself to push me through the tears and fears of what the future holds for us...
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
What? You ARE?!?!
Yup, he is, my Husband who has not been on a "team" for as long as I've known him has been invited to play on an indoor soccer team.
Now, yes, my husband is a sports FANATIC, he watches every type there is....when it came to soccer that was one I actually never saw him actually get into until....................
our kids started playing. Now he coaches both Mom Jr. and Jr.'s team and D is coached by one of our friends (see we swapped we coach his daughter along with ours and he coaches D along with his boys).
I do see him watching it, reading about it, even having me record certain games. I thought that was as far as it was going to go. Well, my Birthday Buddy's husband asked him to join an indoor soccer team. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he's doing it, good exercise, nice to get out, have fun at the same time with friends...
WAIT!!!! What?!?! He's going to start doing what?!?!? NNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
EXERCISE!!!! Man, now I have no choice, no more excuses, tired- too bad, no time-better find it, leg hurts-wrap it!!!
It's a known fact men lose weight faster than women, especially 30 somethin' women, when it has been said our metabolism has slown down.
I can just see it, you know that commercial where the husband and wife are both trying to lose weight, they start some diet pill method - he loses like 40 pounds and there's the wife still looking like she swallowed a beach ball, you know carrying all that extra baby weight from 10 years ago-it just kept accumulating on her body with each child she had (totally understand that one!! Remember I have four!). Oh, don't get me wrong she lost weight also, come on, she did start taking those magic diet pills just like her husband after all. Yes, she did, she lost a total of 5 pounds!! That's right we really can't tell but that's what the scale said (you know that's just water weight right?!?).
Well, that can't be me!! Husband is going to start working out getting ready for this team he's joining (not to mention he has a competitive streak so he's going to try that much harder), you can bet my a** is going to work probably twice as hard!!
We are planning on taking a family picture for Christmas this year, the last time we did that D was a baby and I must say I was pretty happy with my size at the time (don't know what happened, blame it on age, stress, that extra glass of wine, whatever ), point is I don't want to be Mrs. Claus in the picture while my beautiful, healthy children are in good shape posed nicely along their Dad who I'm sure will look great in shape!
So, I have a choice I can pose as Mrs. Claus in the picture or get busy so that I can be just as happy as my family will be in the picture.....
Hmmmm, what do you possibly think I'm going to do?!?!?
Just a Mom who is embarking on a new mission..........................
Now, yes, my husband is a sports FANATIC, he watches every type there is....when it came to soccer that was one I actually never saw him actually get into until....................
our kids started playing. Now he coaches both Mom Jr. and Jr.'s team and D is coached by one of our friends (see we swapped we coach his daughter along with ours and he coaches D along with his boys).
I do see him watching it, reading about it, even having me record certain games. I thought that was as far as it was going to go. Well, my Birthday Buddy's husband asked him to join an indoor soccer team. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he's doing it, good exercise, nice to get out, have fun at the same time with friends...
WAIT!!!! What?!?! He's going to start doing what?!?!? NNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
EXERCISE!!!! Man, now I have no choice, no more excuses, tired- too bad, no time-better find it, leg hurts-wrap it!!!
It's a known fact men lose weight faster than women, especially 30 somethin' women, when it has been said our metabolism has slown down.
I can just see it, you know that commercial where the husband and wife are both trying to lose weight, they start some diet pill method - he loses like 40 pounds and there's the wife still looking like she swallowed a beach ball, you know carrying all that extra baby weight from 10 years ago-it just kept accumulating on her body with each child she had (totally understand that one!! Remember I have four!). Oh, don't get me wrong she lost weight also, come on, she did start taking those magic diet pills just like her husband after all. Yes, she did, she lost a total of 5 pounds!! That's right we really can't tell but that's what the scale said (you know that's just water weight right?!?).
Well, that can't be me!! Husband is going to start working out getting ready for this team he's joining (not to mention he has a competitive streak so he's going to try that much harder), you can bet my a** is going to work probably twice as hard!!
We are planning on taking a family picture for Christmas this year, the last time we did that D was a baby and I must say I was pretty happy with my size at the time (don't know what happened, blame it on age, stress, that extra glass of wine, whatever ), point is I don't want to be Mrs. Claus in the picture while my beautiful, healthy children are in good shape posed nicely along their Dad who I'm sure will look great in shape!
So, I have a choice I can pose as Mrs. Claus in the picture or get busy so that I can be just as happy as my family will be in the picture.....
Hmmmm, what do you possibly think I'm going to do?!?!?
Just a Mom who is embarking on a new mission..........................
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Sssslllloooowwww Motion Tuesday
This is exactly how I felt....My mind was like Speedy Gonzalez, but for some reason my body felt like it was moving like a turtle.
In my mind I was thinking....Okay, drop the kids off at school, go to Mom's house borrow her vacuum because my vacuum is about on it's way out the door. We bought the vacuum back in the day when they were getting away from those heavy vacuums and before they came out with the lighter type that are bagless. Poor vacuum, the holder on the side no longer exists for the extended part that you would use to do corners, chairs, couches... Now when I use it I have to put my hand under the end of the extended part so that the vacuum gets the maximum suction while cleaning off the carpet...It's a pain, it works, it's on the list to be replaced....until then I'll make it work....or borrow my Moms when she's out of town.
Anyway I had to go over there to water and get the mail, I needed to go to the store to pick up the last school items requested by Jr.'s teacher, dishwashing detergent to start my dishwasher which is now fully loaded without any soap, the grocery store for items needed to finish off the week, put in the last load of laundry, call the sporting goods store to find out the cost and turn around for putting names on our soccer teams jerseys, type up soccer information sheets.....
Go, go, go....lot's to do before I have to pick up the kids from school.
All of this is flying through my mind as I try to get myself motivated to move....
J and I leave the house to start our day after we dropped off the kids, put in a movie for J, put on Black Eyed Peas for me to get me going (nothing like listening to some hyped up music to get me moving).
We finished our shopping, didn't make it to Mom's, cleaned up the kitchen, laundry got done, started preparing dinner, worked on Soccer sheets and printed them out.
We went to pick the kids up from school, D came out first and said he was going to the restroom. I sat and waited for Jr., Mom Jr., and her friend. J of course wanted to go the bathroom with J but I wouldn't let him (I can just imagine a 3 year old walking into a bathroom being used by kids all day and touching everything in there, germs!!!). So I'm sitting on a bench looking towards Jr.'s class, I turn to look towards J and he has his shorts down to his ankles and he's pulling his underwear down to his knees!!! "What are you doing?" I immediately grab him and pull his underwear back up, I don't even think he knows what he's doing! By this time he's in whine mode, as usual. "Mama, I hot".
We get home and I still feel like I'm in slow motion, I'm still working on dinner, printing out the last sheets needed for our first girls soccer practice. Meanwhile Jr. is asking me to check his homework, D is asking for a snack, and J is following right along....
I manage to get what I need to done before Daddy leaves with Mom Jr. and her friend for practice, I follow behind with the boys in my own car knowing I have to leave 30 minutes early to start dinner and get the boys in the shower.
Made it to practice, met the parents, took J around the school as he rode his trike. Lesson learned, J still needs to go in the jogging stroller when I go on a brisk walk. He likes to play too much, talking to his "friends", not paying attention to riding straight.
Evening is here, dinner is done and served, kids have had their showers, and now, I need to head back into the kitchen to clean up what is left over from dinner, make Daddy's lunch for tomorrow, and start all over tomorrow...J is still going by the way, I thought he'd be done early tonight, although it doesn't look like it.....
Just a Mom feeling slow as I make my way through the day...
In my mind I was thinking....Okay, drop the kids off at school, go to Mom's house borrow her vacuum because my vacuum is about on it's way out the door. We bought the vacuum back in the day when they were getting away from those heavy vacuums and before they came out with the lighter type that are bagless. Poor vacuum, the holder on the side no longer exists for the extended part that you would use to do corners, chairs, couches... Now when I use it I have to put my hand under the end of the extended part so that the vacuum gets the maximum suction while cleaning off the carpet...It's a pain, it works, it's on the list to be replaced....until then I'll make it work....or borrow my Moms when she's out of town.
Anyway I had to go over there to water and get the mail, I needed to go to the store to pick up the last school items requested by Jr.'s teacher, dishwashing detergent to start my dishwasher which is now fully loaded without any soap, the grocery store for items needed to finish off the week, put in the last load of laundry, call the sporting goods store to find out the cost and turn around for putting names on our soccer teams jerseys, type up soccer information sheets.....
Go, go, go....lot's to do before I have to pick up the kids from school.
All of this is flying through my mind as I try to get myself motivated to move....
J and I leave the house to start our day after we dropped off the kids, put in a movie for J, put on Black Eyed Peas for me to get me going (nothing like listening to some hyped up music to get me moving).
We finished our shopping, didn't make it to Mom's, cleaned up the kitchen, laundry got done, started preparing dinner, worked on Soccer sheets and printed them out.
We went to pick the kids up from school, D came out first and said he was going to the restroom. I sat and waited for Jr., Mom Jr., and her friend. J of course wanted to go the bathroom with J but I wouldn't let him (I can just imagine a 3 year old walking into a bathroom being used by kids all day and touching everything in there, germs!!!). So I'm sitting on a bench looking towards Jr.'s class, I turn to look towards J and he has his shorts down to his ankles and he's pulling his underwear down to his knees!!! "What are you doing?" I immediately grab him and pull his underwear back up, I don't even think he knows what he's doing! By this time he's in whine mode, as usual. "Mama, I hot".
We get home and I still feel like I'm in slow motion, I'm still working on dinner, printing out the last sheets needed for our first girls soccer practice. Meanwhile Jr. is asking me to check his homework, D is asking for a snack, and J is following right along....
I manage to get what I need to done before Daddy leaves with Mom Jr. and her friend for practice, I follow behind with the boys in my own car knowing I have to leave 30 minutes early to start dinner and get the boys in the shower.
Made it to practice, met the parents, took J around the school as he rode his trike. Lesson learned, J still needs to go in the jogging stroller when I go on a brisk walk. He likes to play too much, talking to his "friends", not paying attention to riding straight.
Evening is here, dinner is done and served, kids have had their showers, and now, I need to head back into the kitchen to clean up what is left over from dinner, make Daddy's lunch for tomorrow, and start all over tomorrow...J is still going by the way, I thought he'd be done early tonight, although it doesn't look like it.....
Just a Mom feeling slow as I make my way through the day...
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