Swarmed

Hmmm, sometimes I wonder did Hubby really cut the chord after I worked so hard to get them out??? Or do they actually have this sense of being attached to me from the very beginning that they still feel like they are???
I walk into the kitchen and here they come, I sit down to fold laundry and one by one they sit to watch, I go outside for just a little peace and here they are right behind me, I come quietly down the stairs to have some coffee to start my morning off but they are already two steps behind me and are sitting on the couch.
Just breathe, I say to myself, I always come back to that statement in my head, just breathe. You know my Aunt stopped by Sunday morning to drop off an excersaucer for Smiley (her granddaughter that I now take care of 3 days a week and whenever else my cousin needs me to). So as we sat and enjoyed a mimosa that she so kindly brought over I was telling her how my kids are always around me (as they are sitting in the kitchen by us acting silly). She laughed and said "Oh, yeah, they're just like my two cats at home. They like to be with me all the time. One of them sits on my lap while I put on my make up."
Cats!!! Are you serious, you're comparing those quiet little animals that you can't even hear walk around and may "meow" every now and then to my 4 kids who are teasing each other, one's dancing all around me, another is trying to break dance with his boney body and a hat on sideways, another is just sitting there staring with his big eyes, and then the little one is jumping around asking for this and that or pretending to rock out.
AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! My Aunt thinks they're funny, she laughs as she talks with them and then warns Hubby to start working out because soon the boys are going to be taller and bigger than him (and my husband is 6'5"). He just laughs (with a gleam in his eyes that you can only notice as he stands there and looks on at his 3 boys, being silly as it seems to be contagious from one to the next).
I know I may complain about it now, wish I had some type of breathing room, reminiscing the times when I could go freely out to listen to music with friends and laugh, dancing, go out to dinner and enjoy it peacefully over a nice conversation, have a clean living environment for more than a couple of hours.
My Mom reminds me that I really need to embrace my children now that they are so attached to me, that they want to be around me and my husband all the time, that they come to us for everything, because before we know it they aren't. They are going to want to be far away from us, they are going to want to be out with friends, they are going to want what I long for now. At the same time I am hoping I will be able to remind myself of that feeling when they are wanting it and I am trying to pull that invisible chord back to me.
It happens so fast I'm sure, I try now to relax and remember that, but when we live in the here and now it is really hard. It's super hard for me since they are my complete life (including hubby of course). I am with them all the time from morning to night.
Sometimes I think working Moms have it easier because they get to be involved in something else besides their children so when they come home to them they are interested in what their children are telling them about what they missed throughout the day where as I am there for it all and am just waiting for hubby to get home so that I can separate myself from them for just a little bit.
Okay, so on the other hand I have the privilege of not having to hear it being told by my children I actually get to be present for it all (good and bad).
As I type this I am reading back through it and thinking to myself enjoy it all for what it is because it'll definitely change in a blink of an eye!!!
All the memories I had as a child my children are now starting to store in their memories. I need to focus on that now, I need to find time to do something special so that they can look back and say "I remember that summer!!"
Make this summer count, whether we take them to the beach for the day, to the movies, let them camp outside, have friends spend the night, go to the fair, go to a concert and just dance!!! Give them something to remember, for us to remember, something that will be talked about in the future when our children are adults, maybe even parents, something they'll smile about and say" that was so fun!!"

Just a Mom trying to find her way with her children through the summer.