First week down, um, 9 more to go...... I thought the first week would've flew by especially because I have Smiley the baby every other day, unfortunately this was ultimately the longest week I've had in a long time! Usually I want their days off from school to last forever, now I realize I feel that way when I knew it would end quickly and they'd be back in school. This time around they won't be going back at the end of the week or the beginning of the other. I also had to factor in Smiley, this is our first summer vacation with Smiley.
Normally I would've already bought workbooks for them to work in every day, we would've hit the library for reading, and I would've searched the Internet for fun work pages that I could print out and have them do during the day.
I don't know if my life is just getting busier or I just was not on top of things this time around. So I decided the first week I'd give them a break, let them relax, enjoy not having to rush for this or that, let us enjoy the first week together, not worry about eating by 7:00 in the morning, sleep a little longer, watch a little morning T.V. Well, someone should've just slapped me across the face!! Snap out of that dream world lady!!! These kids do not know the meaning of any of that! Especially Jr. he gets going and he's all over the place till he falls asleep, it's unbelievable how much energy that kid has. My children are not allowed to have any type of caffeine, little sugar, drink mostly water and milk, yet this boy just has this crazy energy that is just popping off of him all the time! "D" will get tired or too hot to continue playing outside, "J" loves to just be a part of whatever the boys are doing, he would stay outside all day if someone would stay out there with him. Now Mom Jr. is quite helpful. She loves to help out with Smiley, loves to hold her, play with her, feed her, it is just like the baby sister she never had (and will never have). She helps out quite a bit. She allows me to have the time to take 30 minutes for myself to work out (which I have started as of the 1st of June).
I have also realized (after a conversation I had with my brother) that I don't want my daughter to feel as though she must serve and put first in front of her any man whether it be her brother, boyfriend, husband, or simply just a friend. I was brought up seeing my Grandma serve my Grandpa first, then all the other boys. The girls always came last. You don't realize how you just become programmed to follow along what you've seen. I always make sure my husband,boys, and daughter are fed before I think about myself. I want my daughter to realize she is just as important as any of them. It's great to be motherly but at the same time don't put yourself last.
Boy, that came out easier than actually doing. My Birthday Buddy tells me I'm a really good person for all that I do, in my mind it's what I should do and if I don't I feel guilty. So when I hear one of the boys ask my daughter to get them something and she says no because she's eating or drinking at the time I let it go.
It's really hard for me but I want her to know she's just as important as anyone else (which, really, I don't think will be hard to do, she has a strength in her that just glows around her and makes you know she knows exactly what she wants and expects).
This week has definitely been eye opening for me. I need to get busy on a schedule for them because if I don't I will be in pieces by the end of the week. I hope other Moms remember who they were before babies because I know I have completely let that girl disappear.
We, as parents ultimately live for our babies naturally but we have to remember these babies wouldn't be here if we didn't want them in the first place. They can't overtake us, they live for us, they learn from us, they love us, they look to us for guidance, for protection, for lessons that will help them as they grow into adults themselves.
So, as I type this I, myself am going to take a deep breath and just enjoy the evening for what it is. The end of the first week of summer, the beginning of preparations of Mom Jr.'s end of the year dance recital that will begin in the next week coming up.
I watch her in complete awe, I am lost in words when I see her dance, my baby brings tears to my eyes, I never imagined seeing her dance the way she does, she reminds my of my Sister, that's exactly who she takes after.

Just a Mom beginning Summer and anticipating her one and only daughter's first big dance year!